Did not run at all this week. Excuses: it was raining on Thursday and Tuesday (my running days) and also I've been feeling quite lethargic lately. The real reason: I just didn't feel like it.
Running has, for more than a month now, been taking the backseat in favor of all the other sports of choice. My mind was trying hard to reject the idea - I HAVE BEEN RUNNING SINCE I WAS 12! I AM A RUNNER DAMN YOU! I HAD A PB OF 43' 44" FOR A 10K - but my heart's just not in it anymore.
The thing with me and running is that, well, it's like a first relationship-love kind of thing. I've always been someone who is bad with endings and goodbyes, always terrible with letting go. I am still the same person who said that if my house was caught on fire, the first thing I would save is the box filled with my journals I've been keeping since I was 12. I'm a memory junk whore. I always have a hard time moving on.
Running is the same thing. My good, dependable, stable lover. The first choice I'd go to if I needed a pick me up. So easy and accommodating, no fuss or hassles involved. Always unconditional, never pushy. Remember all the good old times we had? You've seen me without makeup, smelled me without deodorant, gone through my stinky socks, my unladylike gasping sound, and you still think I was cool. Who cares about sucky boyfriends of my failing Chemistry tests? You waved them away, with a stiff 5k lope around the park. You always think I was pretty too, and you kept me company, since I was 12, then 14, then 16, then 18, 20, 22, 24, 26.
Best running memories:
1) Emotional Hyde Park run, London 2007: I will always remember this run. Even though it was summer it was still cold by my Malaysian standard. I was lonely and heartbroken and far away from home. On the fourth loop of the park I started to cry and sped up. I always speed up when I started to cry don't I? Thank you for never judging me eventhough everyone thinks I'm crazy. I remember the moments when I ran: people playing frisbees, someone grilling barbecue, a brown large eyed dog looking at me with pure empathy.
2) UTP Early Morning Runs 2002-2004: What possessed me to run in the dark I don't know. Felt embarrassed when I ran past Rakan Masjid guys finishing their Subuh prayers. The Pak Guards cheered on me when I did a third loop. Finished my run as the whole world began to wake up. I felt better immediately.
3) Angry Melbourne Run, 2003: A fight with my then boyfriend led to an explosive run all the way up and down past the overhead at his South Yarra's student flat. I was covered from head to toe - beanie, scarves, jumpers, socks, etc - and running so hard but I was still not sweaty. It was dark at 5 pm and made me feel even more emotional. He caught up with me after a while and we made up with ice-cream hehehe. Good times.
4) Tempo Run with Cutie, 2005: When I was 17, I ran at the lake and saw a cute guy running as well. We checked each other out but nothing happened. Four years later, I was running at the same lake and saw the same guy running in the opposite direction. Silently, the both of us started to do 'tempo' runs to see who could loop one lake faster. We finished after 4 loops, to which he joined me gasping under the tree and said, "That, was the most tiring come-on I've ever done in my life." He had such great calves definition! Damn.
5) Field Hockey Stamina Run, 1999: Me and 2 girls from the team would walk to the lake, run and walk back. It was a nice nice routine, and we did it for many many months. The highlight of the run would be the gossip to and back from the lake. No, I did not know that Niza stuffed her bra! Oh to be 15 again.
6) Lari Dengan Ayah, 2001: This was the year I was free to study on my own for SPM. We would wake up , do our prayers, and drove to the lake to run. Ayah would always be a tad faster. He would never NEVER allow me to beat him, the moment he heard me coming from behind. He likes the flat route, I love the rolling hills. After one hour, we would stretch lazily at the carpark, and then head out for Roti Canai. I love you Ayah.
So many memories.
Now off for a recreational run.