2013! And my 2012 health/fitness journey

I'm so psyched for 2013... like I have been for 2012, 2011...

 2013 is the year I plan to rev up my health. I guess people who knows me, especially my family, has already seen it coming looong ago. I've always been the health nut in the family, although more often than not I succumbed to my mom's awesome but not exactly healthy dishes. And I love rice, too much. I love oily fried rice too, and I am a huge MILO fan... you get the idea?

3 years ago, I was gifted with the diagnosis of hitting the Pre-Diabetic line. I considered it a gift because it made me 'revolutionize' my eating habit. It came just at the right time; I was not a kid being fed what mom cooked, not a starving and poor university student settling for maggi mee, but getting married, getting paid, and living on my own. I began eliminating fast food. Out went all the mcdonalds, and KFC and Burger King (the only fast food I eat anyways), and reduced my maggi intake so much, that when I had it I felt guilty. I reduced MILO, severely. I cut back on desserts (which wasn't hard alhamdulillah because I don't really have a sweet tooth).

I didn't see any changes. But I felt good, knowing I took control of the food I eat. 2 years ago when I got married and moved in with harris, we cooked, and that's when I tried to cultivate a taste for healthy lifestyle. But it WAS NOT EASY when you have a normal Malay husband who grew up with mamak, gerai, fast food and junk food. I fought tooth and nail to had us only eat brown rice. After nearly 2 years, he is accustomed to it. I had us take a good supplement. Every carb had to be brown, not white. We allow fallbacks and swerving in this journey, once in a while you can see me walloping Nasi Lemak - my key goal is to cultivate not FORCE.

;Last year, I amped up my fitness again but in a different less competitive way. I did yoga religiously, I run and cycle 2 times a week. I began to include green smoothies daily in my diet. I stocked my fridge with fruits and 'malay male' friendly greens and prepared them so it's easy for him to just grab and munch. For his junk food, I invested in expensive but 'healthier' potato chips, less sodium etc etc. It's the least I can do for him. I made up interesting sweet treats to reduce his ice-cream intake - like banana peanut butter ice cream, etc. I went organic as much as I could. Financially it was tough on the budget but I reduced other aspects on my life - clothes, movie outings - and invested in good ingredients instead. I became crazy reading up on nutrition. I read foodie blogs.

I also will try to squeeze in a second workout after work (I workout before work after subuh which gives me a great energy boost) which is crossfit based, and honestly, that improved my overall fitness tremendously! Went cycling and we did a crossfit style loop and I wasn't really tired, in fact I could keep up. I am beating my dad again on uphills (seriously, my dad has improved to the point he is awesome for his age). Wall squat holds for 3 minutes x 6 times is heaven sent for cycling. Always complement it by stretching your hip flexors though!

 Anyway, well, 2013 is already looking good. My 2013 plans? To take up bodywork study seriously. I've always been interested in massages, trigger point theraphy, accupuncture, myofascial system, anatomy, ever since I herniated my cervical disc and also injured my ankle (still not recovering, aaargh!). This is one aspect that I am lacking in knowledge and will see to it that I will improve.

See ya!

2012 Goals

My fitness goals for 2012 are simple:

1) Run continuously, or on and off, or sparingly - it doesn't matter. As long as you still run. 5k per run is enough to lube your joints.

2) Cycle. Because you can and because the hills are alive... with the sound of music.

3) Swim because no matter how slow you are, you can always outlast the speediest swimmer.

I will always do my swim, bike, run. Just not competitively, just not socially. I run on my own these days, at a park 100m from the house in USJ 2. I run 5.5km once a week, twice or thrice on a good week. I still cycle, only on weekdays, with only one person who has sort of became my coach. Sometimes I hate him; he pushes me when I don't feel like being pushed, but after it ends I feel buzzed. We mostly enjoy the conversations about nutrition, sports, workouts, and sometimes personal life. I hardly swim, but when I do it's like I never stopped. My pace is steady and slow, and I usually daydream and daydream until I have done a 2k.

I have been obsessive about a new kind of workout these days - my SS routine. I think I love it because it's so ACCESSIBLE. Running used to be the most accessible sport I knew - you can do it anywhere with minimal stuff - but now SS trumps running. It is essentially the EASIEST, most accessible workout you can ever do - you only need 2 hours max. You don't need the outdoors, you don't even need clothes on.. well, my point is you can do it in the buff and no one knows and you'd still get a fucking good workout.

And I mean it. I'm no stranger to endurance sports. I love a sweat session as much as the next runner. I love the lactic acid burn and the heat in your lungs. I've felt them all too. That's what I meant - you still get it, from the comfort of your home.

I sound like a bad marketing spiel. Or a cult member.

Lately, I have been focusing waaay too much on SS (stretching and strengthening). It's so easy to skip my running or anything outdoors in favor of SS because I sweat the same, feel exhausted the same and don't have to worry about doing the laundry or leaving the house. Also, the workout is really good for Type-A, competitive person like me. It's challenging. It has you using your body weight and twisting and lifting them back and forth. You can't skip a pose and you cannot proceed if you don't nail this one. And have I mentioned that most of the times all I had on was my underwear? Too much info I know! Well, nobody reads this anyway heheh

But the point of having a healthy lifestyle is balance, and balance is what I seek. I still enjoy running, especially after the run. I still love tackling hills on my wheels. I love swimming, or doing karate and rollerblading. I still want to do all that in 2012, probably for the next few years. Harris is also on a sports mode, taking up muay thai and getting obsessed with that too. Between our workouts and work, we hardly have time for each other. So we proceed to be home for dinner, and stay in for a movie night. Sometimes we camp in the living room, making pillow forts (what can I say... we're still in our 2o's, childless). I have started sewing again, making bags, pillowcases, hopefully working on making my own clothes again. I took a creative writing course, just finished it, which was fun and enlightening. So balance is good.

So there you have it, my goal for this year. Oh, aside from mastering the 5 minutes Headstand (without the wall support and with pelvis aligned, of course) I also want to run a couple of races.

Passion!

Honestly, the best pair of shoes.

It's cheap, cracked and not pretty. But I've been using it forever.

Harris doesn't look too chuffed being the third wheel. Haha.

I remember the first time I bought this dude. I came in with a friend, who would later custom fit and build the rest of the bike. It was on a Tuesday, and nearly 8pm. My friend spent the whole night bringing him to life. Eddy was beautiful, and also expensive. It took me months to pay off his debts, and now he's mine all mine. Everybody loved the bike, just not as much as I do. We made some pretty sweet rides, and he was reliable, and strong, and well, faster than my first. We conquered some awesome hills, and he kept me company during solo moments - the best moments. Some people spent the rest of their lives not knowing who they are, and Eddy helped me reclaimed back my identity. First a runner, and now a cyclist. But I am not fast, neither am I competitive. My 'coach/riding buddy' does not agree; he hates recreational cyclist, always pushing me to get faster, better, stronger. I'll see what happens.

Cycling aside, I've been working out steadily. Been doing karate 3 times a week now, and the first week when I did it I couldn't walk properly for days. All the muscle groups in my legs made themselves known. It was PAINFUL. All the squats; monkey squats, crab squats, sumo squats, whatever squats, they kicked my butt. The training was as tough as yoga. I still hold to this fact: Nothing is as tough as yoga, NOTHING. When done correctly, yoga BURNS.

A week before my wedding, I did my last yoga class for the session. The teacher has turned brutal on me, and the poses harder, more mentally exhausting than ever. I almost cried a few times. Oh God, writing this makes me miss yoga. Soon.

My running has been steady. Nothing much to report there. I will still consider myself a good runner, although the heart is not 100% in there. I complain more when I'm running, couldn't wait for it to finish. Yet I still do the laps religiously. During the bi-weekly running tests, I could still muster some energy to sprint.

Ramadhan month is coming! I love working out during Ramadhan. Makes you sooo much stronger.

priorities

i guess there's only so many moments you can have before you have to redefine your focus.

People ask me if it was hard to let go. Before answering, I will always recall back the recent post I wrote about loving the cycling and what it does for me. To be honest, it was harder before the decision, not so after. I would look at all my friend's weekend's escapades with neither longing, envy nor regret. Sometimes I would confide in a friend about the immensity of what I am letting go of, and they would understand, knowing that before all of this, it was a huge part in my life. But we are meant to lose the people/things we love, because how else are we going to know how important they were to us?

exercise will always be a part of my life. but in a different way now.

I end this with one of my favorite quotes from Benjamin Button:

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

Being Healthy: A Promise

This is the part where I hate the most: when you're too engrossed in your work that everything else goes out of the window, with everything else being your healthy habits, be it body or food.

I get too tired to workout after work. But being me, there's just so much of complaining that I could handle before I take matters into my own hand.

So my work tires me out. BIG DEAL. I'm not the only one dealing with a taxing 8-5 job. I'm not the only one stuck in traffic feeling like a droopy flower in the car. Life is a choice and I can complain about how I do not have the time or how wiped out I am or I can just suck up, get myself some exercise for the benefit of my health.

"It's not the number of times you fall that matters but the number of times you
get up."--Confucius

This requires some re-arranging. I get tired after work... maybe PM exercising isn't working out for me. I remember back then when I look forward to AM cardio. I love it like no other but when I started working all that changed. But maybe, maybe I could squeeze in some earlier cardio... if I'm really so inclined.

The problem with that is: running is the only thing that works. No karate gym opens at 6 am, and I'm not bloody well going to swim in the chilly pool or skate/bike in that ungodly hour alone!

And did I forget... I can't run?

I could join classes again, make it fun, just a social thing after work, not really a workout. But I am BROKE like a broken tape player. I can't afford to spend money more than I can't afford to spend my time.

This looks bleak.

The ONLY choice is - SUCK IT UP. I guess that's what I have to settle with right now. I can't listen to myself complaining about how I miss my workouts anymore without driving me crazy. You miss your workouts? Then what are you doing laying down on the sofa with a book on your snoring face?! At 9pm!

I realize I'm talking to myself here.

So I'm putting this down right here:

• I promise I will try to stick to weekend workouts. I can bail on weekday workouts if I absolutely have to, but weekend workouts are a must. I need this because your body is a temple and you have to take good care of it.
• Take one workout at a time. No pressure, just go ahead and dive (or roll or punch, depending on what you have) right into it.
• EATING RIGHT STARTS HERE. EATING RIGHT STARTS TODAY. No more salty, extra processed food and too many sugar intake cause Nadia are you ignorant - you're one step behind being a diabetic. Let me bold that for you.

Forgive everyone while you could. Be grateful for the smallest, least wonderful thing in your life everyday.

GET ENOUGH SLEEP.

Call your parents. Smile at strangers. Not old, aging men with too much money to spent. And no, you can't tell them apart sometimes.

Today, I will try to workout. But if I fail (because you're yet again too mentally exhausted), there's always the weekends.

Running: The Best Of

Me and my whole family are all talking about this Malakoff run. This time around, few more of my cousins are joining and also my colleagues (upon my insistence).

Caught up in the excitement, sometimes I wondered if i should just forgo my 'retirement' plan and join them in the run too.

It seems that I'm retiring at the wrong moment - my sister (whom I have given up trying to make her run) has been asking me about running, and which race she should apply to.

For the millionth time after my knee injury, I wished I didn't have degenerative knee bones. Or that it's just some sort of an injury, that could get better in time. I look at other people running everyday and think, "How come they don't get any knee pain?" I regard other runners with some sort of an amazement - how could your knees take it but not mine?

Sometimes I feel like not giving a hoot and running through all the pain. But I want to be able to walk during my pregnancy (something women with bad knees like mine can't do). And I'm pretty sure there is a reason for everything, even if we can't see it yet.

So I am sticking through my promise - no running events anymore - at least, nothing that amounts to more than 3 per year. I would not completely stop running though, I think that is fairly impossible, but I would not run until I have to run. I'm pretty ok with that.

Thank You, feet, for keeping me company for 13 wonderful years. We had great moments.

Yesterday, while cleaning up my place, I found a box of things that belonged to me in high school. As is by pure coincidence, out came my sporting paraphernalia; hockey shin pads, tapes, squash balls, worn out badminton racquets, and most importantly, my running bibs.

1246 - my first ever running race number, when I was 13. It was a cross country, distance maybe 3km, and I think I finished it waaay after the event has finished. By the time I arrived, everybody was gone, and the tents were all cleared off the field. I was dumbfounded. I thought I was in Twilight Zone.

1355 - second race of the same distance, which I ran blindly without stopping trying to chase the top girl in school to no avail. My first ever trophy. I got number 13. Lucky number 13. This was the year when running started to make sense.

42:23 - my best 10km time. I was 15 and was also in field hockey. field hockey worked your endurance and speed like hell. Joining cross country was easy because we ran so much during field hockey. We had many different coaches and everyone was insane.

400m, 800m, 1500m, 4x400m - my favorite events. I HATED competing but not when I know I would win HAha! Out of the 4, 800m was the hardest because I always had a hard time pacing this distance. you burnt out going too fast too soon, but lose out when you started too slow. My winning 1500m time was 5:25. I was 16-17. My boyfriend then was the school's top runner but I had no idea I would be marrying that guy.

suicides and horses - my favorite running drills.

Bullet with Butterfly Wings (Smashing Pumpkins) - my all time favorite running song. the song started out slow but then explodes into magic. Great for tempo run.

Rancid (out come the wolves) - favorite running album. I then ran while holding a freaking discman.

Hyde Park - the best running place oversea.

After an emotional fight - the best time to do your tempo run.

Gentle Pickup - my favorite Runner's World term.

Reebok Premier Road - favorite running shoes. I have 2 of them!

5k - favorite running distance.

Writing this makes me want to run.

I spoke to one of the cyclists whom I cycle with, and he told me that he too used to run. In fact, "I used to run with the Pacesetters, even had me a running girlfriend too," he said. I asked him, "Don't you miss it?"

"You've just go find something else that hooks you the same way."

House Arrest

Today's planned workout had a premature death. I planned to have a very quick run before I start my day.

Instead, today's workout consisted of painting about 5 walls (upper body toning) and rearranging furniture (strength training). Also threw in 20 minutes of fast walking (a tense and panicked run through at the hardware shop). Hey, in this era of the the modern working woman, I'll take exercise any way I can. Even if it means doing calf raises while brushing my teeth... or waiting for my conditioner to soak in.

I had a day off today just so that I can settle my new place as soon as I can. I never knew painting walls can be so tiring! My arms were shaking from lifting them up for prolonged periods. I salute both my parents for single handedly painting their house inside AND out!

My cardio plans for tomorrow will have to be shelved as well since there's just so many things to do and I don't have the luxury of more than 1 hour to spare. But what I can do is to squeeze in a quick run tomorrow morning before the havoc starts.

have a good weekend everyone.

The Great List

I have tried running while I'm here in the states. Results:

1) Jet lag. I couldn't sleep and if I fell asleep I wake up about 2 hours after... at 3am and stay awake the whole time. By the time 8am rolled in, my head was pounding and I am already tired.

2) Run foiled due to long hours of work. One time we finished at 11pm! (we did start at 11am but still...)

3) Day 4-6: WORK.

4) Too cold. This is my weakness. I can't stand cold weather. I do really well in extreme heat and humidity that I have given my cold weather abilities away. I stepped out of my hotel room to run and scurry back into my room and warm toasty bed.

There was a 10k Halloween run in St. Louis the second day I was here. It looked nice, from the news.

The best thing about United States is the shopping. Ever since I was a kid and into sports, reading their fitness magazines made me wish I could live there. Here is my wish list:

1) Total 9, Underarmour and Champion sports bras: 'Nuff said. Sports bras in Malaysia are pussies compared to what they have here. Even Singapore doesn't stock them. Not all Asian females are tiny! Plus, being sportswomen don't really equal being flat chested. The best thing ever? The name of the best seller sports bra - The Last Resort. hahahahha!! Thank God it's not as vile as Supper Strappers or something.

2) Yoga/Pilates stuff: Cheaper, more variety.

3) More colorful jerseys/attire. YEAY!!

The only thing I managed to buy because I'm so busy with work: Clif Bars.

I've always wanted to taste Clif bars ever since 2 of my favorite super athletes blogged about them. Too lazy to properly research whether Singapore has them or not, I silently bid my time until this trip. Once I arrived, I bee-lined to the Sports Performance aisle in the store and sure enough, CLif bars are all lined up, calling my name. The one I got is Chocolate Brownie, and it tastes like chewy Milo and oatmeal. Perfect for my long periods of cardio!

Will try to run if work permits today.

Train

The only train I know now is the LRT.

I have reached my goal. And it's a sweet feeling when I realized it.

My aim was to make sports a lifestyle. The kind that makes you feel sort of empty inside, like something is missing, if you didn't do it. A habit of sorts, something to fill your time, that defines who you are. Something stress free.

I read a lot of blogs to have memorized the quote where it talks about the difference between commitment and mere interest. When you're committed to your goals you train. You set targets. And you achieve them.

I like the sound of it but I'm far from committed. I lack the burning passion to be consistent in my workouts, I abhor the pressure of keeping to the schedule. I want to be at the race venue ready to let it rip; fast, slow, did not finish or crawling to the end.

At PD I got the bouts of nervousness. It attacked me like fingers playing the piano; once in a while, only when I allow myself. Only then I realized that this happens to me all the time - I am always unprepared when it comes to a race.

There has never been a race where I am 100% - or even 70% - prepared. It's either I signed up too late to train, or I got sick, or injured (Kapas Marang!), or I lack discipline to continue training for more than 3 weeks.

I did my half-marathons (PBIM, SCSM) without proper training, the longest LSD was - as always - 10k. I was too busy to train for my karate tournaments. I got injured AND had lung infection 3 weeks before my first tri. I did the dreaded marathon with no base to fall on to (I don't recommend this).

Did I suffer? Yes. But did I finish? Yes. That's my only goal in sports. To finish without compromising my health.

My point is - I don't train. Or rather, I have failed in trying to train. I'm horrible at trying to be a disciplined athlete. I read and enjoy running blogs tremendously, but in all honesty, fall short in trying to emulate the so-call 'n weeks' of training schedule. I read my entries these past few months and wondered what happened to the workout style post of "warm up; 100m, run distance: 3k in 6 min pace" that I did earlier on. After a while the numbers sort of left me.

I still do though, have a simple workout log. I keep it because I like to look at my busy fulfilling life (hahahaha). But from now on, the only train I know of is the LRT.

And that is fine with me.

TIRED

I'm tired.

I cannot wait to sleep, I think, as I am writing this down. I've been dozing off on and and sometimes at the traffic light. My new workload is crazy, although exciting. A lot of other things are happening at the same time and I am spreading myself thin trying to juggle everything. Things being house, side job, cancer cousin, sports, family+friend time.

Siemens 10k run was good. A lot of downhills though and just one uphill. At the 6th kilometer I was cursing the downhill because I lost a lot of advantage as I slowed down tremendously when going down. My right knee hurt. But I love the last 3km stretch. I don't remember my time but I got the medal. Yay! And my MILO fix. Damnit that was awesome.

 I'm taking the rest of the week off and just catching up on my sleep. Maybe it's true what my doctor said - I'm just physically and mentally thrashing myself without realizing it.

 A part of a poem I think is lovely:

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Addiction or Lifestyle?

Today I came across an interesting question: which came first - the addict or the drug? The author states that essentially drugs, if left alone, are just either a normal plant or a chemical mixture. It's the addiction that completes the relationship, therefore addiction is the one who started the dangerous journey. It comes complete with the withdrawal syndroms/symptoms, you crave it in a way you can't describe and it literally takes over your life.

My sports have sort of become an addiction, and I can't really tell if it's the healthy kind or the bad kind. I feel the withdrawal blues if I left it for more than a day, I think about it every other hour, sometimes with great attention, and it consumes my very existence. My life is utterly dependent on it and there have been possibilities where I totally wished I was ignorant to this aspect of life. How totally blissful if I could not care less about a low mileage week, or anything else that surrounds this cult concept. I consider myself to be a level-headed, feet on the ground kind of person but lately my priorities have been horribly warped. But for the most part, 90% of it, I am totally happy with it. I just acknowledge the fact that I need to find a good balance...

1) Shoes
Been wearing the same pair of shoes to work. It's purple flats and getting really worn down. I know I should at least get another pair so that I can alternate, but really, spending RM 49.99 for a pair of shoes (that I only wear on the way to work anyway!) seems a little bit too much. Shoes are expensive - this purple flats I bought for RM 19.99.
But I did not balk when registering for races that costs me RM 40-60. Each.

2) Car
I drive a 15 year-old car named George (husband). He's old, a little bit cranky, and lately, has gotten to be a bit senile. Won't open the car window, lights up only in one eye, radio suddenly doesn't work, etc. He also has cancer on the left side of his body, and I have to tape his left eye up lest the lightbulb comes out. He needs to be aligned, balanced, etc. My replies to dear dad when he pesters me to check up George, "No Money, no Time."
But I could afford gadgets that please my wheeled boyfriend (Thunder), am considering to get me Garmin GPS watch, compression pants, etc, and I have all the time in the world to run run run.

3) Work
I won't compromise sports for my work, but I would - and did - compromise work for my sports. BAD. But it's the truth. Have you all taken a day of leave just to get in some plentiful of cardio? I have. Many times. Yep. Despised waking up at 530 am for work, but easily 530am for a freaking heart pumping activity... on the weekends. My first thought when boss asked me to go to Norway AND Belgium for work in July - "But... Siemens run!"

4) Property
Same thing like my car/shoes, etc. Am a proud owner of a one-bedroom unit and despite tons of work needs to be done with it (grille, lighting, fridge, streamyx... eh Unify) I'm thinking of using the money for something else, like a pair of running shoes or something carbon.

5) Life

a. Registered with dad for SCKLM, decided not to run and wanted to do something else instead in order to get that cardio fix, managed to convince my dad to drive there by HIMSELF, park the car and go back home by himself until my mom said, "You registered together and now you want orang tua ni pergi sendiri???? Just so you can EKSERSAIZ?" Hell hath no fury for a woman whose husband is (so-called) scorned.

b. For the past 2 years, I was a part of a 2 man business team. We did graphic and design for just about anything, covering wedding cards, murals, tshirts, depending on the demographic of our clients (corporate, kids, universities, normal couples, etc) Last year, I remember being TOTALLY WIRED for Urbanscapes. It is the largest art/design festival in Malaysia, and we had a booth selling our canvas arts and printed t-shirts. We stayed up all night silkscreening, stencilling, painting, doing the accounts for the big day. It was a success, and we garnered quite an attention.
This year, Urbanscapes was held on the same weekend as SCKLM. I was totally clueless, only finding out about it when my partner told me he wanted to buy my part of the share because of my 'inabillity to commit.' Sometimes I miss those days of inhaling paint fumes and talking about lines, shapes, pantone colors and JPEG.

c. Friends have totally considered me out of their lives. And the sad thing is that I was too busy working out to even CARE. haha. Today though, I'm making a difference. Bailed out on another fantastic cardio (sighssssss.... what a TOTAL LOSS) to have a farewell dinner of my best friend (yeah right he probably doesn't know I exist anymore) and his wife+kid before they left for Australia.

The only ones who are not complaining are my cat and boyfriend. But that's because both of them are equally independent, self-sufficient, and lead equally busy and fulfilled lives.

So, am I addicted or is this just my lifestyle?