2013! And my 2012 health/fitness journey

I'm so psyched for 2013... like I have been for 2012, 2011...

 2013 is the year I plan to rev up my health. I guess people who knows me, especially my family, has already seen it coming looong ago. I've always been the health nut in the family, although more often than not I succumbed to my mom's awesome but not exactly healthy dishes. And I love rice, too much. I love oily fried rice too, and I am a huge MILO fan... you get the idea?

3 years ago, I was gifted with the diagnosis of hitting the Pre-Diabetic line. I considered it a gift because it made me 'revolutionize' my eating habit. It came just at the right time; I was not a kid being fed what mom cooked, not a starving and poor university student settling for maggi mee, but getting married, getting paid, and living on my own. I began eliminating fast food. Out went all the mcdonalds, and KFC and Burger King (the only fast food I eat anyways), and reduced my maggi intake so much, that when I had it I felt guilty. I reduced MILO, severely. I cut back on desserts (which wasn't hard alhamdulillah because I don't really have a sweet tooth).

I didn't see any changes. But I felt good, knowing I took control of the food I eat. 2 years ago when I got married and moved in with harris, we cooked, and that's when I tried to cultivate a taste for healthy lifestyle. But it WAS NOT EASY when you have a normal Malay husband who grew up with mamak, gerai, fast food and junk food. I fought tooth and nail to had us only eat brown rice. After nearly 2 years, he is accustomed to it. I had us take a good supplement. Every carb had to be brown, not white. We allow fallbacks and swerving in this journey, once in a while you can see me walloping Nasi Lemak - my key goal is to cultivate not FORCE.

;Last year, I amped up my fitness again but in a different less competitive way. I did yoga religiously, I run and cycle 2 times a week. I began to include green smoothies daily in my diet. I stocked my fridge with fruits and 'malay male' friendly greens and prepared them so it's easy for him to just grab and munch. For his junk food, I invested in expensive but 'healthier' potato chips, less sodium etc etc. It's the least I can do for him. I made up interesting sweet treats to reduce his ice-cream intake - like banana peanut butter ice cream, etc. I went organic as much as I could. Financially it was tough on the budget but I reduced other aspects on my life - clothes, movie outings - and invested in good ingredients instead. I became crazy reading up on nutrition. I read foodie blogs.

I also will try to squeeze in a second workout after work (I workout before work after subuh which gives me a great energy boost) which is crossfit based, and honestly, that improved my overall fitness tremendously! Went cycling and we did a crossfit style loop and I wasn't really tired, in fact I could keep up. I am beating my dad again on uphills (seriously, my dad has improved to the point he is awesome for his age). Wall squat holds for 3 minutes x 6 times is heaven sent for cycling. Always complement it by stretching your hip flexors though!

 Anyway, well, 2013 is already looking good. My 2013 plans? To take up bodywork study seriously. I've always been interested in massages, trigger point theraphy, accupuncture, myofascial system, anatomy, ever since I herniated my cervical disc and also injured my ankle (still not recovering, aaargh!). This is one aspect that I am lacking in knowledge and will see to it that I will improve.

See ya!

Semangat Lari Balik... and I talk about yoga.

Actually, I have always been semangat.

 Actually, tak.

To be honest, ever since I discovered ashtanga yoga, I am lazy to do anything that involves me to go out of the house wearing clothes... erk, not that I practice naked. Cuma less baju to wash. Dengan tudung nyer lagi etc etc.

Why do I like ashtanga so much? Because it is a good replacement. It physically, mentally and emotionally challenges me just the same. The practice usually takes me about 90 minutes or 120 minutes to complete, depending, and it requires you to focus.

When I came to yoga it was because the doctors said, "Kau lari lagi kau kayuh lagi aku patahkan lutut hang!" (Badan lembik perasan baguih) Ntah2 dier tambah dalam hati. So I went. I came to yoga entirely for a physical practice.

Then somehow it changed. Ashtanga is hard. Period. It has about 5? series - one series have probably about 30 or so poses - and they keep getting harder. Most people will only do first series, maybe two. A few get to do third and beyond. I have been doing first - or primary - series for literally a year now.

The major difference about ashtanga and my 'tri' training is the spiritual aspect of it. Whereas multisport os a world where you need to kinda exude confidence, ashtanga needs you to be really humble. If your balance is off that day - check, did you unintentionally hurt someone? It's a grounding practice, one that goes with my faith.

But let's talk about the physical aspect. Here are a few of my favorite primary poses:

  
This is called bhujapidasana. The full pose requires you to lower your head slightly to the floor, and lifting back up. This develops your arm strength tremendously. My swimming has never felt better. One of my favorites.


Lolasana. I have not yet gained that strength in the hip flexors to lift my feet up.


Kukutasana - Christy Turlington, a dedicated yogi, nailing it. I love this one too.

Here are the poses in second series:


Pincha Mayurasana - I totally love this pose. Took me a while to develop that upper body strength to kick up. Can only do it supported, with my toes against a wall.

I could share more but here's one that I am currently practicing:


Eka Pada Koundiyasana - I could only get to balance for a split second before my arm strength failed me. Love the work I am putting for this, a third series pose.

Anyway, the stronger I get with my practice the more I yearn to start a regular running practice back. I do run, usually once a week, or twice on a good week, and cycle once a week, but it's not satisfying enough. Now that the first series is getting a tad easier, I feel like I want to incorporate running as a cross training... how funny is that? Would be good for my legs to develop some strength that could help me with some hard balancing poses!

 Onto my running practice... twice a week, first. Baby steps!

You Know You're Addicted When...

I'm now going through a grueling 6 day strength and endurance workshop... just because.

 I was reading a blog post titled, "You know you're a martial arts student when..." and it got me thinking. Here's mine:

 You Know You're a Workout Junkie When:

1) You own more stretchy pants than jeans.
2) You own different pairs of running shoes for LSD, race days, treadmills, lazy runs
3) You sleep in the running vests you get during registrations.
4) You have countless amount of workout bras, for different sports: longer length for cycling, more support for running, etc
4a) You have countless supplies of anything, in my case 3 yoga mats, 2 helmets, 2 gloves, 2 swimming suits, 2 goggles, etc... the list is endless. Consumer whore!
5) Your bathroom constantly have goggles, swim cap and swimming suits hanging to dry
6) Your car is a mobile sports store room with shoes, pairs of socks, bottled water, etc
7) You smell of muscle rubs most of the time.
8) You understand and can talk about V02 max, intervals, and pyramids with such excitement.
9) You mentally map out your run or cycle route whenever you're passing a pretty hilly road or beautiful landscape
10) Your vacation is a running event, or a yoga workshop
11) You don't hesitate.. EVER to plunk out more than RM200 for your beloved sports
12) Your kitchen is fully stocked with bananas and chocolate milk
13) You and your spouse go to massages, reflexology, and cupping more often than the movies.
14) You won't swim in a pool that is not 50m
15) You know what Nuu, Urdhva Dhanurasana, bento bag, pulling means
16) The word Drill gives you a Thrill
17) You actually know where your serratus anterior, rotator cuff and plantar fasciitis are. And what they mean.

I actually have a lot more but I am at work at I can't really get to excited. Of all the activities I listed, I've been missing the swim. Ever since I rented out my condo to a friend the pool benefit goes away too. That was the suckiest part for me. I love my condo's pool because it is 50m, has practically no one, and although not deep, nice enough for me to tread water and do whatever I wanted to do.

 My cycling is now only on Sundays, at the same route and area. I just like the hills. It's an easy workout, without wasting time and driving far. The last time I went, I honestly thought I would suffer, but I was actually pretty great even my riding buddy complimented on me. HE NEVER DOES THAT. Of course, it wasn't really a compliment, more like, "Well, at least you weren't huffing and puffing." hahah trust me, I take it as a compliment, because it surely means he didn't think I was a hopeless case.

I went running Saturday with a friend. We did hills (of course). Since she was just starting out and hates running I turned it inot some sort of a game: run uphill and brisk walk the rest. We had fun, especially at the top of the hills.

 My body is sooo sore! And I feel tired! I can't wait to run. What? did I just say that. Maybe I'm delusional.

2012 Goals

My fitness goals for 2012 are simple:

1) Run continuously, or on and off, or sparingly - it doesn't matter. As long as you still run. 5k per run is enough to lube your joints.

2) Cycle. Because you can and because the hills are alive... with the sound of music.

3) Swim because no matter how slow you are, you can always outlast the speediest swimmer.

I will always do my swim, bike, run. Just not competitively, just not socially. I run on my own these days, at a park 100m from the house in USJ 2. I run 5.5km once a week, twice or thrice on a good week. I still cycle, only on weekdays, with only one person who has sort of became my coach. Sometimes I hate him; he pushes me when I don't feel like being pushed, but after it ends I feel buzzed. We mostly enjoy the conversations about nutrition, sports, workouts, and sometimes personal life. I hardly swim, but when I do it's like I never stopped. My pace is steady and slow, and I usually daydream and daydream until I have done a 2k.

I have been obsessive about a new kind of workout these days - my SS routine. I think I love it because it's so ACCESSIBLE. Running used to be the most accessible sport I knew - you can do it anywhere with minimal stuff - but now SS trumps running. It is essentially the EASIEST, most accessible workout you can ever do - you only need 2 hours max. You don't need the outdoors, you don't even need clothes on.. well, my point is you can do it in the buff and no one knows and you'd still get a fucking good workout.

And I mean it. I'm no stranger to endurance sports. I love a sweat session as much as the next runner. I love the lactic acid burn and the heat in your lungs. I've felt them all too. That's what I meant - you still get it, from the comfort of your home.

I sound like a bad marketing spiel. Or a cult member.

Lately, I have been focusing waaay too much on SS (stretching and strengthening). It's so easy to skip my running or anything outdoors in favor of SS because I sweat the same, feel exhausted the same and don't have to worry about doing the laundry or leaving the house. Also, the workout is really good for Type-A, competitive person like me. It's challenging. It has you using your body weight and twisting and lifting them back and forth. You can't skip a pose and you cannot proceed if you don't nail this one. And have I mentioned that most of the times all I had on was my underwear? Too much info I know! Well, nobody reads this anyway heheh

But the point of having a healthy lifestyle is balance, and balance is what I seek. I still enjoy running, especially after the run. I still love tackling hills on my wheels. I love swimming, or doing karate and rollerblading. I still want to do all that in 2012, probably for the next few years. Harris is also on a sports mode, taking up muay thai and getting obsessed with that too. Between our workouts and work, we hardly have time for each other. So we proceed to be home for dinner, and stay in for a movie night. Sometimes we camp in the living room, making pillow forts (what can I say... we're still in our 2o's, childless). I have started sewing again, making bags, pillowcases, hopefully working on making my own clothes again. I took a creative writing course, just finished it, which was fun and enlightening. So balance is good.

So there you have it, my goal for this year. Oh, aside from mastering the 5 minutes Headstand (without the wall support and with pelvis aligned, of course) I also want to run a couple of races.

run with dad

been running with the old man these days. today was no different. my first thought was, damn this man is getting better! isn't his knees supposed to be killing him? either he's getting fitter or I'm losing fitness. I opt for both. Ever since I stopped cycling for a while,I have been doing nothing. Crickets. But been picking up sports here and there. I can still kick up dirt with my sprint repeats. Great nice 5km with dad, who ran a bit too fast for my liking. Had to con him into stopping... I am not proud of that.

It's March

it has been a while and I would like to say that life is not all about the Internet.

I had a good cardio today. When I say good it usually means either I was performing, or I was struggling. This morning, I was really struggling. Have not been exercising for a month or so due to work and personal commitments. I went to Turkmenistan for work last week. Suffice to say when it becomes my home for the next three years I'm going to have to work extra hard to keep fit.

Anyway this morning it was a good strength training workout that really made my legs feel the burn. Headwinds and hills, plus a little bit of rain are always a good combo. It was quite cold though, something I didn't really like. If it's going to be cloudy please make it comfortable, not chilly. There was no sun, which is good for the skin, but for me personally bad training-wise. For the first time in a long while the hills worked me. I felt the burn like a heartache. There were moments where I had to keep myself going. All this makes me better so I was not complaining.

It is really nice to know that this used to be a serious, tough workout for me. But after a slew of really epic distances, this feels like an easy saturday boo-hoo.

Yesterday at the strength training class the instructor worked me good. We focused on the large muscle groups, working specifically the core. I like that my body awareness is improving, and slowly my body is responding. We ended the set with a tough abwork that left me screaming Uncle!

Can't wait for my first official event soon.

180

I always think: if it weren't for my knees, I would be smoking everybody.

On days when I could not go on because of them, I get moments where I think, "why?" And then I realized that this is such a small thing. I think the reason behind this is that maybe God is telling me something. If I didn't have bad knees or shoulders or what not, I would be such a conceited ass. In high school I was a smug athlete. I got annoyed at slower runners. My purpose when running is dropping others behind. I knew I was good, and I think I let it go over my head.

Now my knees and shoulders keep me in check. They allow me to do sports without letting my ego gets the best of me. At anytime I started to excel and thus, smugness sinks in, they get to work. Too many times I had to pull out of runs, rides, tournaments because of my knees.

It sounded like a curse. But I chose to see it as a blessing.

This week was one good example. I did another long distance event this week, and although not the first, or the fastest lady there, I was strong. I kept a nice pace (I think all the years in cross country taught me well in pacing myself), I handled my nutrition well, and I kept it together through all the crazy hills. People commented how good and how strong I was despite poor mileage and lack of training. They mentioned it several times.

I started to get a big head.

The next day, another long distance event. I was all prepped, thinking of all the praises heaped on me when I finally finished it. The pictures they will take, showing me in action, people going, wow nadia is so strong!

My knees acted up. And I had to say no. Because although ego is a big thing, I think experience and the smartness of saying no is better. I've learned my mistakes when I ruined them because of running. Now I exercise caution.

Anyway, I think I will always be a long distance girl. I never cared about the time or speed, although to be honest I would want to have BOTH speed and endurance. But if I had to choose, I'd choose the ability to go long, and enjoy long. This was one of the sweetest long distance thing I had to endure, because it was just me, my thoughts, and wanting to finish. I always want to finish. And I always will.

To having the ability and capability to go long and enjoy long, thank you God, for this gift.

great week

i worked out everyday except for Monday. this on a heavy fever week. why do i only get and give good workouts to myself during uncalled for times? i run better - faster, longer - during ramadhan with all the dehydration. And this week, heavy with fever and stuffy nose and fatigue, I had awesome sessions.

Well, awesome sessions, but my body felt weak. Nevertheless, they recover fast.

Tuesday, I in-line skated. Watching youtube videos of the Longboard Girls with their sick skills spurned me on. I let my hair down, and pretended I'm one of them, blasting up and down the hills, feeling the quads, working. I imagined them quads looking cute, toned and firm and wasn't that a great motivation to push up harder.
What I learned: you can enjoy the exertion if you think about how this will benefit you in the long run.

Wednesday, strength. Didn't break too much of a sweat, but my heart pumped somewhat crazy. I loved this sessions and wished I had more time after work.
What I learned: it is up to you to push yourself. You can always add one more rep and then the next.

Thursday, finally my boyfriend decided to join me for a spin. And that dude wowed me as usual. My turf, my playground, and he whooped my ass climbing up the hills like the bike and him were one and the same. I loved the view of his calves when I was exerting myself along the ride. The night was balmy and humid, and it was the best because I was with the person who mattered most.
What I learned: The same route helps to gauge your fitness, and how each exercise changes according to the day weather, mental state, etc.

Friday, still feeling weak, but strength class still had to go on. This time, I wanted to focus on my upper body strength. And dear lovely instructor, she made us pant and sweat and our arms and upper back shake like a Polaroid picture. great stretching sessions afterwards.
What I learned: Focus and breathing are keys to your knowing your RPE.

Saturday, a dip in the pool. Woke up from a goood recovery sleep, and decided what the hell, let's just get yourself worked out for a while.
What I learned: You can lose yourself in the moment, and the next thing you know, you've exceeded your expectations.

balik kampung jumpa ibu, ayah, kucing!

The Number Game

Of all the gadgets I wanted for my sports, a GPS watch is top on the list. The reason is simple: I want to know how far I run when I run. This habit started when I run events, therefore I train, therefore keeping tabs matter. When the interest wane off, I somehow like to keep track of the mileage just because I like to see the details all spread out over a period of a month. Or maybe I am a geek like that.

Last year, I trained by the numbers. I have a 10 ringgit wristwatch to keep track of the time I took to run my daily 5k, just to see if I have improved. When I swim, I glance often at the wall clock and made sure I do not go over the normal swimming time of my 1k. I used a cycling computer to tell me how far I am going and what my rpm is. I am jut short of not counting my heart rate, or my strokes, or my power output.

In short, it was all about the numbers.

Yesterday, I went for an outing with my project team. It was mostly fun and lightweight, but since there was a runner in the group as well, and she's reasonably fit, we decided to run. At first I was being careful, slowing down on the downhill, making sure my pace was steady. But after a while I began to zone out and just ran. I momentarily thought about my knees as I raced downhill with my colleague, zip zapping on the rocks. I was fast, springy, excited, and extremely at home. I thought, "Oh my god I am so dead," as we ran up and down the baby inclines.

But it was worth it.

Truth to be told, I left the world of 'training' after Penang Bridge but gained back the wonderful pleasures of just working out. It is not a Must not but a WANT TO, just like when I was a student. I stopped measuring all my performances - swimming, running, cycling, karate drills, in-line skating, etc - for the simple pleasures of getting sweaty.

I stopped relying on the numbers and begin again to learn by feel - the feel of the winds past my ears to gauge my runs, the burning triceps as I work on my strokes, the ease of climbing for my power output. I no longer am anal about my timing, or distance, instead merely asking my friends about them, to be jotted down into my fitness journal. I do write down the distance, and the time if not for routine. I still like data, although I don't stress about it.

Anyway, running the route yesterday was awesome. It reminded me that I am not dependent on any technology but myself, and that no amount of GPS data, or split timings going to make me a better athlete. Truth to be told, if I can trust my own natural fitness gauge, I feel like I have improved, a bit stronger, with or without all these stuff.

A friend is going to give me her hand me down cycling computer, and as much as I like getting things for free, I wonder what having it would do for me. I have enjoyed riding without knowing anything at all except how good it feels and how bad this motherfcking hill is. I save myself the trouble of feeling the dread knowing that I have another X km to complete.

One of these days, I will try to see if I could just workout without keeping tabs. But for now, I am pretty much, bound by a little bit of data.

Double Whammy Weekend

I'm still on my two feet, immobile, so the Open water swim was a great chance to reconnect with my swimming and also old friends. Have not seen these guys for some time, and Kash too.

To be honest I wasn't sure I was going to swim. I have stopped swimming 'seriously' and have not done any long distance swimming for some time. Compared to the rest of them I am the weakest swimmer, which goes to show that just because you're younger doesn't really mean you can't be smoked. The last time we did this, I got stuck in the current on the swim back to the shore Ian had to stay with me, which is a bit of a downer as you never want to be slowing anyone down. Also being the last made me panic and I was thoroughly drained when the swim was over.

I thought it was going to be the same thing.

This time around I did ok. I thought my main limiter would be my fitness since I've not been doing any cardio routine. I thought I would be struggling to follow the rest, and that my heart would be pounding, and I would be dying for a breather. But I kept to the same steady pace and routine of sighting that after the first few minutes I calmed down immensely and just, swam. Having Jaja beside me (doing a breaststroke - that was how slow I was with my freestyle) was also a calming point. At least we were both swimming side by side, going towards the same point. The rest has shot off far ahead except for Ian who was basically being a good soul keeping tabs on us.

I always wonder what went on in our heads when we were doing the distance. Be it running, cycling, swimming, most of the times it would be only us and our thoughts keeping us company. I believe this is why individual sports are so therapeutic. your minds just wander off somewhere and let your body auto pilot itself.

I think I have improved, and I can't decide whether it's because I was visibly more relaxed, or because I am just fitter. Strengthwise I still have noodle sticks for arms and maybe I have to surgically implant muscles there. Gary, one of the swimmers, had bulging biceps and I believe the swim was barely an effort for him.

Today what was meant to be a simple 4km of trail run-walk has turned into 11km of getting lost and dehydrated. I felt guilty because it was my idea to go to the Frim woods for some exercise, and my boss was into the idea and hence, all the project team were suckered into going. One guy brought along his pregnant wife.

The first part of the trail - 4km - were done in high spirits, I devised a game where we would sprint when we come to inclines. That got our heart rates up and bodies sweating. The we proceeded to another long trail where I devised a game of tag+pass the baton, in which every runner would run as fast as possible to make it hard for the runner behind him to catch him, and 'pass' the baton. It got us huffing and puffing and then suddenly we found ourselves in the middle of nowhere. We were inside one of the botany gardens and the only way out was over the locked wire fenced gate. In the end, we had to go out via the drain tunnel, and it was a hoot to have our boss hoisted up from the drain. The mountain bikers even snapped pictures of these awkward looking joggers all coming up from the drain by the roadside.

All in all, it was a very tiring 11km Frim tour.

Broke My Back comeback

What a great workout. After 4 weeks off no serious cardio (except a 3 runs, 2 in-line skating with RPE of 8, and karate drills), I managed to complete this not-so-easy workout with great flourish. Except for some back pain and bodily aches (due to different steed and adaptability of the distance after a lay off) I feel fine. Totally fine. In fact, I loved this workou so much! Maybe we should do this weekly.

My secret? Karate drills. And yoga stretches - daily. Those things really helped. So many things could go wrong - wrong sized steed, shoes, heavier in general, lack of fitness, tough route, but aside from the two mother effer hills, I had a great time, I wasn't slow or slowing anyone down, I am actually ok, speedwise. I could use another bottle of water, but dehydration's part of my exercise anyway.

These past one week, I was cooped up in a meeting room for a weeklong discussion. It's called an IPF study, and being the green, newbie engineer that I am, I was glad I was thrown into this to learn. But all we did inside there was sit, think really hard, argue, and then eat. All the lack of physical exercise makes me wish we could conduct this study while on treadmills or something. Anything to keep us energized. So what I did was to bring weights in and use them around my ankles while we were discussing. Lifting both my legs up help strengthen my knees, and that's always a good thing.

Once I am back home I did my karate drills and an hour of yoga. No excuse no matter how pooped I am. I have made the conscious decision to be good to my body, at least 6 times a week. Last week, the gym of my condo was closed, and it was raining, and my knees hurt to run, so what I did was pop in my collection of CDs and had a mosh fest. I was breathing really hard at the end of the hour. I forgot how good music makes you feel, especially with the tunes.

For your information, I was listening to Smashing Pumpkins, As I Lay Dying, and Bush. Great tunes.

Off to clean the house. Another workout?

I end this with a sobering but uplifting picture:

If this kid can smile... so can YOU

Workout Two

When it comes to sports, I have always been a hopeless romantic.

Ever since I was a kid, more so when I turned to a young adult, I have lost count how many times I dived into a sport (new and old) and thought to myself, "this is it... im in love."

The first few times I started swimming regularly, 2 years back, I remember slicing through the calm blue water and thinking to myself, "whoa, what a wonderful feeling. I love this."

Early mornings enjoying my solo spin along the empty deserted road I went, "ohmigod, I am in love and I won't let go."

In the middle of a super hard dolphin pose, "i... love... this!"

After a kickboxing class, "What a great workout! I love kickboxing!"

In my countless loop at the lake, the birth of many great things in my running, even my injuries - "I could die right now and I am at my happiest."

On and on it happened, be it hiking, surfing, field hockey, badminton and squash (damn... I miss squash).

None of these infatuations have to do with competitions. It was always about pure exercising, bad form, good form, low mileage and all.

Today was no example. I am still trying to pick up to where I left my fitness last - on the dusty shelf of my 'things to continuously do' library - and slowly regain back my exercising routine. It was a good Sunday. Woke up early, treated my parents to a nice breakfast of nasi dagang with ayam merah (the best, seriously) and vacuumed, swept, wiped the house. General cleaning done, suddenly I was in the mood to do a cardio.

So I did. I started out slow, telling myself its ok if I didnt complete the target. Its all about the warm up.

The main set was torturous. I nearly died twice trying to sustain the drills. Recently I am more interested in doing short hard intervals rather than long endurance oriented ones due to my limited time frame (and god only knows how I used to love endurance based workout!). Also, hard short workouts give more or less the same results as those who did long workouts.

Plus, I believe in the power of yoga. When I did yoga quite religiously all other cardio wasn't really hard. I sleep better, I climb up the hills better, I sustain better, you name it, yoga better-fy my athletic performance, even my life.

And right now I'm going to shower, clean the bathroom, do my weekly DIY facial, read a book and just become a lazy ass.

Training checklist:

1) if it's going to be windy, then make the weather cool.

I know, I know, I hate cool, overcast weather, but seriously, if the wind's going to give me tons of resistance and make me feel like I'm dragging the school bus with my hair, then might as all make it a little bit cooler so I don't have to refuel that much.

2) When there is no wind (and there usually isn't) then make it blaringly hot.

I LOVE blazing hot sun. The hotter the better. The more humid the nicer, and even if it's dry I'll take it. I find that I am mentally stronger when I work out under the hot sun. It's easy to give up when your head feels like it's frying an egg, but YOU DIDN'T give up, so that's a good accomplishment.

3) Throw in some dehydration as well.

I am crazy, but I like testing myself. Sometimes I push myself even when I ran out of water. My throat would be parched but I held on. Isn't it a sweet feeling when you get the reward all rested.

4) There should be no excuse.

Not your knees or the weather or whether you had a late day at work the day before or you didn't have breakfast. you either performed or you didn't. I try to tell myself this everyday so that it wouldn't affect my workout. too many times I blamed lack of energy and sleep for my flailing performance. Nobody cares. it's only a self defense mechanism we use when we know we suck. My advice to myself: suck it up.

5) have fun

some days I feel like pushing. some days i feel like taking it easy and concentrating on something else. and i am okay with every decision. im doing it because i am able to, and i enjoy it, not because i have some deadline to complete. i realize that the more i put less pressure on myself, the better i get.

today was one of those days. lousy distance, poor planning. but instead of focusing on the negatives, i decided to make it into tiny intervals. most of them didn't enjoy the set, citing too easy, too short. but I felt i put in 100% effort for it. I'm glad.

till next weekend!

improving

I am improving.

Getting there, and it is amazing.

I don't even know where 'there' is.

All I know, that is feels good everytime I am stronger, faster, better.

Catching up with the big boys. Having my heart pounding like they're going to explode everytime I do. Testing myself. Not wanting to give up.

Today was a good day. started out slow and tired, dehydration mostly. but finished strong. Way above my expectations. I've never pushed myself that hard. My heart pounds like the drums in the jungle. All through it I remember to say a silent prayer to God up above for allowing me to get stronger.

I miss running. I am as fit as I was when I was in school. I would have been able to run and run and run...

great athletic weekend

Over a whole year of training I have never worked out what makes me perform or fail to.

you would think i would have figured out what would be good for me during a long distance workout, what i should do more off, and what i should do less of. the thing is, i would never know. there'll be days when i give such good performance only to do completely the opposite the next week at the same route.

what i do know though, is that i cannot have breakfast for any LSD. I've tried that one and everytime i ate breakfast my performance sucked. the only thing i could swallow would be cereal... but i rather not eat at all. i seem to push myself better without any food.

also, what i could do more of is enough sleep.i think that one is a no brainer.

saturday, i went to what i thought was going to be another poor performance since last week i was completely a vegetable completing the route. but instead it was the opposite. i was fast - i felt fast. i felt good, i pushed myself, i caught up, i was HUMMING.

so what have that workout taught me? that my performance relies completely in my state of mind. no amount of breakfast, sleep or anything else could contribute to this. if i feel good or i want to feel good, then i would have a good workout. if i felt shitty and thought i sucked, then i would give an equally sucky performance.

ego is my powerbar.

my knees hurt, but i am tired of caring. i thought of all the seasoned footballers in my boyfriend's team, all of them have bad knees and everything else and yet they did not give a damn.

speaking of football, after my workout rushed to see my boyfriend's league and it was an explosive show. his team finally put down one of their deadliest rival in an amazing 8-2 score and I was caught up with the excitement of it all. my boyfriend have an amazing endurance, playing 3 90minutes game in a large field (thankfully not back to back!) And to think my 4 hour morning cardio was taxing! Football will always be one of the toughest endurance game in my opinion, since my high school cross country training followed the football training regime and we were wiped out from the circuits. We finally ended our night with a hearty meal of chicken, fish and porridge and went to sleep for sundays morning cardio (me) and a football game (him).

sunday as usual was a good workout. im a BIG GIRL playing with the big boyssss!!! (too lazy to explain)

Long weekend!

I love long weekend like a fat kid loves cake.

Well, who am I kidding. Not only fat kids love cake - a lot of people does! I happen to LOVE cheesecake. Especially homemade cheesecake. The one where you can decide how much cream cheese gets to be in.

Thursday:

I did, cough cough, weights. That means gym, and that means boring. I was emailing my yoga teacher back and forth about having a strength training withdrawal. She is out of Malaysia for the moment and I don't think she will be back anytime soon. Now this lady, she gave me awesome strength training routine. I mean it. Everytime I was in her class I lost whatever confidence I have about my fitness. My arms shook like noodles softening in a pot of hot water, my legs quiver like I just met the love of my life, I kept on farting during stomach sets... that was how bad that lady tortured us.

I miss it. I miss walking out of the class feeling like I could pummel a beefy dude 50 pounds over me.

She suggested that I do weights. She gave me a detailed list of what I have to do, reps and sets you could find anywhere in fitness magazines. I looked at my book and it says Run on Thursdays but I wasn't in the mood to run. Or rather, my knees were not in the mood to run. You think you're a slave to your cats or kids every whims? Try having a dodgy pair of knees. THEY tell you when you should run, how long and how far. They DECIDE which shoes you're going to wear and on what surface you're going to pound them on. I believe I am able to take care of babies from now on.

Because it was a Run day which means cardio which means heart pumping, I jumped on the elliptical machine. This doesn't really hurt the knees that much and it's really a boring workout, but beggars can't be choosers. I selected Interval and spent the next 30 minutes figuring out what is it about the elliptical movements that made you sweat. Also I watched the trees swaying. And one dude picking up trash. Lovely. Uplifting.

Friday:

I had fun. What's new today? I had more power. Also, I was faster. Yes. I think I was a tad speedier than I was 2 days back. Also, my legs felt strong, upper body not complaining. All in all, it was a good workout and I enjoyed the sun shining on my face and everywhere that was uncovered. The only bad thing was I didn't put on sunscreen and it ate me even until now. Keep it up and Harris is going to marry a wrinkled up leather handbag.

What I had: milo ice, 100 plus, 1/4 cliff bars (chocolate brownie), 3 chocolate chips cookies, 2 plates of Nasi Lemak.

I have to keep track of my food intake because I'm not healthy. So excuse me should this blog turns into a food journal of sorts.

Unfit but getting there!

Tuesday:

OUT OF SHAPE.

Those were the words screaming repeatedly in my ears Tuesday night as I did my much-sought-after-but-hardly-indulge cardio workout.

Let me just lay this on the floor: I knew where my fitness is, I knew I'm so far behind, and I knew I have to put in effort just to be where I was before (before what? I have no idea too).

But that night was a shock to my cardiovascular system. 2 minutes into starting, as always, I felt bile at the base of my throat, my chest tightened, and I fought to keep my breathing even. Classic signs of out-of-shape, too much rest, too much hours working, so-called weekend warrior.

I started to entertain the idea of giving up. I have a LOOONG way to go, and the route's not exactly easy anyway. I was left behind, alone, and the only thing that I could think of is a ghost attack. I hate night workouts.

But I hate giving up more. I COULD FINISH THIS, I told myself fiercely. Doggedly.

Thank God a friend came ambling along. He would accompany me, he said, plus, I'm not in the mood lately, burnt out I guess. I don't mind following your pace.

I'm so unfit, I gasped.

Don't worry, he said. You'll get back to it after a few more repeats.

1 hour and 40 minutes later, I finished it. The unforgiving, take no prisoners, no mercy kind of a workout even for seasoned athletes.

You know what I love? The fact that I loved the hardest, most difficult parts of the whole thing. The fact that instead of feeling like I have to slog through it dreadfully, I went at it head on and horns thrusted.

Wednesday:

Sometimes I wonder where I find the motivation behind all these routine. I mean, look at me - I am no paid athlete. I do not have a race coming up soon, and even if I do I end up forgetting it or missing it out. But I still rely on these routines.

Big help for Wednesday was writing down exactly what I want to do with my workout time. Listing out the drills, the time and the RPE I expect to achieve makes it easier for me to just go ahead with the workout instead of worrying in the middle of it what to do next. It's like having a coach except that this coach knows you reallly well.

I also planned to push this workout hard. I want to be tired at the end.

For the first time in a decade, I also timed myself. Haven't been doing that because I didn't see a point of it.

The session went well. I did not cheat one bit, except to change one set because my knees were hurting (paranoia). I took my time to stretch and really stretch the muscles between sets. I made sure my heart was pounding furiously or else I'd give myself one more set just to piss me off even more.

I worked so hard that I had trouble keeping my eyes open during dinner.

And today I ate Nasi Lemak and 2 slices of Pepperoni Pizza.

additional: Dinner is nasi goreng! Damn tasty.

House Arrest

Today's planned workout had a premature death. I planned to have a very quick run before I start my day.

Instead, today's workout consisted of painting about 5 walls (upper body toning) and rearranging furniture (strength training). Also threw in 20 minutes of fast walking (a tense and panicked run through at the hardware shop). Hey, in this era of the the modern working woman, I'll take exercise any way I can. Even if it means doing calf raises while brushing my teeth... or waiting for my conditioner to soak in.

I had a day off today just so that I can settle my new place as soon as I can. I never knew painting walls can be so tiring! My arms were shaking from lifting them up for prolonged periods. I salute both my parents for single handedly painting their house inside AND out!

My cardio plans for tomorrow will have to be shelved as well since there's just so many things to do and I don't have the luxury of more than 1 hour to spare. But what I can do is to squeeze in a quick run tomorrow morning before the havoc starts.

have a good weekend everyone.

Blast!

Because I was really deprived of a good cardio, last night I joined my friends for one great session. Or sesh, as they called it, but we're not here to learn more lingo aren't we?

I have not been doing anything SUPER HARD for exactly 31 days. The last remotely hard workout I did was about 14 days ago and even then I could hold it on my own. I knew my fitness level is definitely not the same like it was a month back but I did some running... ('some' equaling to only like, 3 measly 5.5ks?) I thought well, running is THE hardest cardio you're going to get, it ain't a sprint workout but at least I'm moving my body, even only 3 times over a period of 31 days. So, you know, I'm still FIT.

RIGHT.

1) Made the mistake of stuffing my face with one Potato Jacket with Chicken and Cheese (my planned pre-hardcore workout dinner). And a plate of spaghetti aglio olio (unplanned.) Well can you blame me? The thing's right in front of my face, and I need... to CARBOLOAD. Doesn't matter if it's 15 minutes BEFORE exercise.

2) The team's effing fit. I'm talking about Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal, Van Damme, and Bruce Lee kind of fit. They are not the sort of mean cardio robots to mingle with if you're making a comeback after a long hibernation. These guys are just plain tough. Meanwhile I just lack protein and muscle *cries*

The moment we started I tried my hardest to keep up. Almost immediately I started to feel my dinner at the base of my throat. 20 minutes into it, I started to feel the heavy dread of thinking I have bitten off more than I could chew. I have another long 60 minutes more. My chest felt tight and my heartbeat was erratic and fast. To my amazement, I realized that I know this feeling, like a fond distant memory: this is the feeling of being unfit and starting up. This is the feeling being a cardio n00b. I was working so hard that my base of my neck ACHED from the pulse pounding on my right side. I couldn't even hold a conversation. I think I was working at RPE 23 that night... which doesn't exist which means out of the track HARD.

It feels good to be smashed. And to know exactly where I stand, fitness wise. I used to be one of them... maybe not completely in but at least I'm not panting 20 minutes after we've ended things! So now I'm taking a good 3 weeks of rest before I start again, maybe slowly, BUT surely, until I get to the same, if not above the level that I was.

Isn't that a sweet sweet challenge to have. Until then, it's back to warm cozy nights of family, books, ramadhan reflections, and friends.

I need to gain MUSCLES! Urgh.

Paradox

My mind is a paradox; it is both my biggest motivator, also my limiter.

 Sometimes I take things a little too hard, push myself a little too far. We're all humans. Writing on our blog about wanting to do things the right way, the better way, the good way. But come the real deal - ego, peer pressure and sometimes mindset takes over.

 Exercising has its days. There would be good ones, where the after effect left you feeling buoyant for hours. Then there are the bad ones, which will render you helpless and all devastated. My bad exercising days have many outcomes: sometimes I get a second wind and finish strong, sometimes I shrug it off with a nice long shower and a hot Milo, and sometimes I could be blown to smithereens.  

 Today was a mixture of not so good and very much ok. I would like to think that it's just one of those days, but I've been having that one too many to my liking. Maybe I like to have something to blame on - "shit i am knackered - it's just one of those days." Who knows. It was definitely one of the most mental LSD I've ever had in my life recently. I couldn't slow down, because I was just stubbornly stupid, I didn't want to stop because I just want to get this thing over and done with, and I was fighting with myself and it was a riot. 

 I went through all my favorite quotes and mantras and repeated them back to front. When that didn't work, I tried recalling what Kash's husband Rais told her - "Think fresh." I only managed to think fresh for 1-2km and then failed miserably again, resorting to recycling favorite quotes. I tried visualizing the whole 'second wind' concept. I ended up passing wind from all the gassy drinks I had. Nice. On and on it went until we hit the last few kms of my favorite stretch  - favorite because it means that destination is NEAR. This is when I 'hammered' it. My thighs have been burning ever since I started and they were deranged when I picked up pace. I tell myself it's all the muscles I will have and how my jeans will thank me for it.

 Later this evening, on a different workout, I told myself, take it easy. Forget skills, timing and accuracy - just enjoy it. Forget forget forget. I sped through the warm up, limbering up. Did the drills as fast I could, enjoying the fluidity of my hands. Went through the repeated stances and cherished the burning thighs. I love this I love this I love this. 

 And I did. It was an awesome session, good workout, most of all, I enjoyed myself. Good sparring partner too.