morning run

I have been MIA.

But I had a good morning run today that warrants a writeup. Nothing actually is special - normal 5k run, normal speed. But it was the promise of a good day, beautiful morning. I had a beautiful workout last night, and a deep sleep, and time to cuddle with my cat. I run on and off, more off. But this morning it just felt natural. My feet loved the sensation of the road, the roughness licking my soles. The air was cool, crisp - I could just imagine fall leaves flying down on me. My knees were singing. Legs strong. Core in control. My breathing was not erratic - I wasn't pushing myself.

Truly, the beauty about running is in the mind and soul. Haven't felt like this for a while, and I bet it will be ages before I feel it again.

Other Runners

For no apparent reason, been excited to start looking at running events again. Maybe it's chatting with other runners, maybe it's just boredom, or maybe I got my groove back, or maybe it's because I have money to spare.

At SS class today I chatted with another runner, a lady with bad knees too. I knew her through the SS class, but because of running we become chatting buddies. We discussed bad knees, running events, organizers, water stations, hilly routes, anything about running you could ever imagine, even FMVs and running in sarongs. Needless to say, all these talking make me miss running. It was so nice to have a talk with someone who understands the addiction, who knew what it feels like to miss miles when training for races. But we both have fallen under the category of runners who couldn't care less - who will run when they feel like it, training be gone.

Anyway to be honest I am kind of addicted to my SS class. There's something about having to nail each and every tough poses that kind of keeps me hooked. I like the relation between the SS practice and life. In SS you can never force your body into doing something they just wouldn't and it's knowing when to hold back that is valuable. Because I was trained to be competitive with myself and between peers, sometimes I do not know when to reign it in. Injury sets in. I'm trying to listen to my body more by giving it the freedom to play a lot of sports without setting myself to any hard specifics.

Two weeks of annual leave! What do you think I would do - cycle of course!! And a lot of other sports again. Thank God for this ability.

MPSJ Run

I had a great time.

Probably because the event location is just 5 minutes walk from our home. And it's a 10k, my favorite distance. (To be honest right now 21k is a marathon distance!) And it's small, so I bet there will be Milo (I thought wrong. So disappointed.)

The race started out nice and light. Saw no one famous, except for an ex ironman and his hot young thing, but I saw a lot of schoolmates and teachers from my school. We all live in the same area after all. The course had no serious incline, only very minor false flats, but one puny downhill. I started out targeting my pacers. After 3km, saw this lady who kept a very even pace - even during small downhills. She was so even, I got so relaxed. I ran by her side long enough to realize she might be annoyed with me, so I struck out a conversation. I told her I've been pacing her. We ended up deciding to run together so I could pace correctly and she could run faster at the end (my idea - told her let's pick up a few 100ms before)

The route was nice - one big loop around major usj areas. the downside of knowing the route is that you know when it's going to end and at one point I was dying to stop knowing it's still far away. I made a promise to run the whole 10km to see if I still have the stamina. The traffic was light and water stations plenty but kept small - a few times crowds were bigger than the water station (1 table). One junction was unpatroled (spelling? or does this word even exist?) thank God there were no cars.

When we reached the last 300m, I decided to run a little bit faster. My knees were hurting at that point and so were my ankles. I crossed the line at 62 minits. Not my best timing and despite the fact that I should be happy with the fact that it does not suck my ego still wish I could hit lower than 60minutes. don't we all.

The bad news is that I have overworn my five fingers. The toes are out of their toe sockets and thank god i have a spare ff. I realized that I've been using them for nearly 3 years. What a good investment since I don't really need to change them often. Harris wants me to run wearing shoes but I have grown so accustomed without them I just couldn't.

Anyway, I had a good SS session last Saturday. I am serious about it being one of the hardest sports in the world. I have newfound respect for yogis, dancers, or gymnasts these days. Too often we endurance athletes think that our sports is the cream of the crop, but seriously. One of my favorite athlete, who is a triathlon coach and a top triathlete for her age group in the states (she did so well for the ironman kona) said that she picked up pole dancing after her racing season as an 'active rest' and she was so blown away by the difficulty level. Imagine doing the 'flag' - where your body is parallel to the pole, arms straight. Kau mampuuuu??

chasing the rain and sunset (and maghrib)

Yesterday as I got off work I was like, "YOU MEAN IT'S NOT RAINING?"

I quickly drove home, despite the traffic and everything, it still wasn't raining. I wanted to run! It was already nearly dark when I got home, with the looming cloud and everything, probably 635pm. I was still ecstatic that it wasn't raining. I changed and just as I was out of the gate, started to run.

The feeling of being able to run after what it felt like ages of not running was awesome. My steps were springy, I felt blight and flighty, I was nearly humming. I ran behind a high school boy wearing the tshirt that says Mont Kiara FC. No doubt he was keeping fit. I made a bet with myself that he could only last about 6 loops max since most guys I know who are non runners can only last for 3km. So it began. We outpassed each other a few times before true enough, he got tired.

I was always conscious of how my legs feel during a run. This time I assessed how they felt. I am happy to report that the usual knee pain and ankle have all but disappeared (albeit a bit on the inside, just a tinge) and instead I still had a strong running form. The sky was getting dark, many people have left. But I was adamant to run 10 loops to make it a normal 5.5k. I am starting to love running in this usj area. It ain't hilly like ss19, but much more peaceful.

I was also chasing the rain and the sunset. I love to play this game; when you push push and push before the sun sets or the rain falls. An automatic interval. I think I ran a little bit faster than I would. I still feel strong, in fact I could have gone on longer. This could be the only time it doesn't rain! I told myself. I was really loving the run.

When I finished, the rain was dancing softly on the roads, the streetlights were on, and the muezzin was calling out the prayer. It was such a beautiful feeling, and I am grateful I got to do this.

Wednesday Run

Yesterday my run nearly didn't happen.

There was no electricity, and as I was about to head out of the gate I realized I can't open the damn thing. Electric gate, duh.Harris didn't tell me where the key for the small access is, so I was stuck stewing inside feeling sorry for myself. Just as I was about to text him a totally sorry message, we got the electricity again.

The park nearby harris's house is small and runners friendly. Two laps equal 1k so I decided to run 10 to give me my usual weekly mileage. I happen to like running in a loop very much. In my high school and university running days, I prefer to lace up my shoes and let them take my feet and body wherever. I would run and run for hours enjoying the scenery. But now that I am working, I realized I like having a route that I know the distance of and could give me a basic workout when needed. I do not have the time, nor patience, to run anywhere and let the experience of running takes over. Running in a loop allows me to get the distance without any hassle of figuring out the traffic or route, etc.

My knees and ankle sometimes hurt during the run, and I've learned to not let them psycho me out to stopping. Instead I focus on adjusting my running form, or gait, trying to see which one makes the pain disappear. Most of the times they do disappear, and sometimes, like yesterday, they were stubborn. I have evolved to a point where pain is pain and I just went on. I wouldn't have done this if I didn't have a stretching and 'healing' class every Thursday. The stretches I had to do in that class really works my ankle and I was like, padan muka!

My next plan if I could is to try to take my bike out for a spin around the neighborhood. I have tried once before with my eddy and it was a hairy nightmare as we live near a school and cars were a plenty in the evening. My riding buddy advocate on riding the bike at least for 2km daily just to maintain muscle memory. 2km, I can do, so I would want to try to take out my trusty old steel bike so it wouldn't be so hard to stop since the pedals aren't for clipped shoes.

Speaking of bikes, I haven't been 'servicing' them for a loooong time. Apparently my big plan to convert my husband to a triathlon monster thus become my bike mechanic failed miserably. I guess I'm stuck to having a relationship with the boys from the bike shop.

a change would do you good

2 days ago I walked to the shop because it was a lovely day. In the midst of walking I suddenly felt this huge urge to RUN. it was a beautiful day, with no wind, humid to the core, the sun shining and I was like, "why the hell not?"

So I ran. With no sports bra on (I had a bra on ok... just not a sports bra). And cut off jeans. And slippers. After a while I took of my slippers and ran... barefoot.

I looked like a thief. But i felt like a superstar.

I read about people talking how marathons and all the multisports 'changed' their lives. Truth to be told... I have no idea how, and in what way.

Completing a marathon felt just like it - completing a marathon. I mostly felt relieved, and then proud that I have not given up. When I did my first triathlon I felt proud. The same thing happened when I did my first century. Relieved that I made it, and proud that I held on.

But doing them does not change my life. I still give up easily outside of sports. I am neither happier or sadder. I am grateful. Maybe I have a high pedestal on how 'life-changing' these sports achievements should be. I was sort of imagining that i dont know... maybe I became a different person, and my social life just picked up, etc. But I am still the same ol same old person doing paperwork in the office.

I do though, gained friendships. That is a good plus. Certain things you discussed about during the long trip towards the race venue, certain things you've witnessed or have people witnessing, certain things you accidentally did without control... these people stick by you through thick and thin.

One thing I DO know, is that being active makes me feel grateful. Of being able to. Of having the choice instead of given none. Of putting the trust God give me on my body and not wasting it away. Playing sports makes me become aware of who I am, what I am, and how I should be. I complete century distance rides almost monthly and I am grateful for that. That I am still able to run, and enjoy running, is a gift that keeps on giving.

Nothing in this world is permanent. Which is why, sometimes, with the wind on my face and the road hard and hot under my feet, I wonder if somehow, the most insignificant changes in life would be the most significant.

fever

No workout for 6 days. But I compensated those days with family, food and friends. It was worth it.

Reorganizing my sports closet, I realised that I have more running shoes than my work shoes... or any other normal ordinary shoes. I have only 1 pair that I wear to work everyday. 1 heels to wear for wedding functions. 1 strappy one for casual events. The rest I wear Havaiainas flip flops. I have always been a flip flop girl. Must took it from my beachy, surfing watersports days.

But I have one trail running shoe (a good investment for my Nepal trip), 3 running shoes that I alternate (1 for events, 1 for regular training, and 1 for cross training) and 2 vibrams. I hardly use the 3 running shoes now with the vibrams so they've been downgraded to badminton shoes, etc.

I have about 20? unworn running singlets from race events. I have only used 4 of them for yoga classes but now since I do them at home there's no reason for me to wear a proper attire. I have always been a cotton tshirts kind of girl. I love how they stick to your skin.

I am happy where I am today. I think I have 'crossed' off the list of things to do when you're a weekend warrior; everybody goes through this phase - a 10k event, then a 21k, then a 42k and then if you're still searching for something you might try a triathlon and who knows if you're still obsessed an Ironman.

There are some people who got stuck with only running and I envy people like them. They don't follow the natural progression, but finding their passion real early and holding on to it instead. I was one of 'those' who felt that I needed to do more things in order to feed that burning drive. We are all guilty of it.

But I have found my calling. And I love it.


I am still going to stick to my guns and running for penang bridge marathon :) and maybe siemens 10k... and malakoff... and mizuno... those are the good runs. short, simple, with milo at the end.

My dad has retired from running. I asked him if he wanted to run for energizer and he said no, he has no interest anymore to run events. Like me, he too, has come full circle. The rush is gone, but it was good while it lasted. Damn good.

Today was a good workout. Good intervals that got my legs burning and myself gasping for air. I think of my cousin, whom if given the chance to be alive and healthy, would have enjoyed this run with me. I miss you ngangah, all the time, everyday :(

The Number Game

Of all the gadgets I wanted for my sports, a GPS watch is top on the list. The reason is simple: I want to know how far I run when I run. This habit started when I run events, therefore I train, therefore keeping tabs matter. When the interest wane off, I somehow like to keep track of the mileage just because I like to see the details all spread out over a period of a month. Or maybe I am a geek like that.

Last year, I trained by the numbers. I have a 10 ringgit wristwatch to keep track of the time I took to run my daily 5k, just to see if I have improved. When I swim, I glance often at the wall clock and made sure I do not go over the normal swimming time of my 1k. I used a cycling computer to tell me how far I am going and what my rpm is. I am jut short of not counting my heart rate, or my strokes, or my power output.

In short, it was all about the numbers.

Yesterday, I went for an outing with my project team. It was mostly fun and lightweight, but since there was a runner in the group as well, and she's reasonably fit, we decided to run. At first I was being careful, slowing down on the downhill, making sure my pace was steady. But after a while I began to zone out and just ran. I momentarily thought about my knees as I raced downhill with my colleague, zip zapping on the rocks. I was fast, springy, excited, and extremely at home. I thought, "Oh my god I am so dead," as we ran up and down the baby inclines.

But it was worth it.

Truth to be told, I left the world of 'training' after Penang Bridge but gained back the wonderful pleasures of just working out. It is not a Must not but a WANT TO, just like when I was a student. I stopped measuring all my performances - swimming, running, cycling, karate drills, in-line skating, etc - for the simple pleasures of getting sweaty.

I stopped relying on the numbers and begin again to learn by feel - the feel of the winds past my ears to gauge my runs, the burning triceps as I work on my strokes, the ease of climbing for my power output. I no longer am anal about my timing, or distance, instead merely asking my friends about them, to be jotted down into my fitness journal. I do write down the distance, and the time if not for routine. I still like data, although I don't stress about it.

Anyway, running the route yesterday was awesome. It reminded me that I am not dependent on any technology but myself, and that no amount of GPS data, or split timings going to make me a better athlete. Truth to be told, if I can trust my own natural fitness gauge, I feel like I have improved, a bit stronger, with or without all these stuff.

A friend is going to give me her hand me down cycling computer, and as much as I like getting things for free, I wonder what having it would do for me. I have enjoyed riding without knowing anything at all except how good it feels and how bad this motherfcking hill is. I save myself the trouble of feeling the dread knowing that I have another X km to complete.

One of these days, I will try to see if I could just workout without keeping tabs. But for now, I am pretty much, bound by a little bit of data.

Return to Cardio

Yesterday after 14 days of recuperating I decided to go for a run.

The feeling has been building for nearly a week now but I as hesitant to jump into any activities so quickly after the accident. But yesterday it as was as good as it gets. It wasn't raining, I as in good spirits, none of the fatigue from work or anything, and I had time.

I decided to walk from my condo to the lake. It was a nice walk, probably about 1.5km at most, but I as warmed up due to the brisk pace I kept. It was probably more of a jog, and I try not to focus too much on my steps and let my paranoia disappear.

When I arrived I quickly increased to a trot. I felt my ankles and knees and calves like I've never before - 3 months of completely no running has shocked my system to the core. They weren't exactly complaining, but they made themselves known. I felt the ground beneath my feet, I felt my calves, I felt the wind rushing through my ears. I probably ran at a fast pace. I thought of slowing it down so I could last about 5 loops (1 loop is 1.1km) but I decided to just run at the pace I felt like running, all other 'should' or 'would' be gone.

As I as nearing my second loop I have yet to slow down. Also bumped into all these runners I have not seen for a while - this uncle who ran the opposite way from others - we smiled at each other, both unable to stop. He is a good consistent runner. The guy Rashid - whom I wrote in my first few entries of this blog. He was there too, and ran fast like it as a walk in the park.

I probably slowed down a pitch in my third loop, and as much as I wanted to continue and make it to 5 (I'm a sucker for keeping a routine), I told myself to take it easy on the first run. I stopped after the third loop, since I have another 1.5km walk back to my place.

It as a nice cool down walk home. I passed subang parade, carrefour and all these people miling around and about. I realized I'm blessed to live in an area where exercise is not a challenge but of abundance. It is here here I regularly go for a spin, my condo has a nice pool where I would swim for hours in (one time an old lady went down from her place to the pool and asked me"are you training for the olympic?" HAHAHA), and there's even the gym should I feel too lazy to go out. And running is everyhere!

I'm going to have to start registering my dad for races. He's been itching to run something and been pestering me to sign him up. I don't know whether I'd join him as I already enjoy running the same distance without wasting any money, but I have always liked the event atmosphere. all I know is, I know exactly what race I would be doing this year for sure and it is none other than the Penang Bridge! hahahah good running place, and good food. No complaints!

Yeay to fitness!!

2 weeks holiday

I do this every year: take two weeks off until the next year. I always feel itching to work afterwards.

What have I been doing? Work, in and out, through emails.

Eat. I have been eating regularly and healthily for the past one month and it's been giving me some good feedbacks.

First, I cut out all junk food. If I was so inclined, I'd have one or two but that's about it. I replace sugary water with plain water or chocolate milk if I really needed the taste. I stuff in more fruits and vegetables. I try to eat wholemeal grains; but if I were back at mom's house it's hard to say no to their white rice (my sister and I tried unsuccessfully to convert them to brown rice). I keep smaller portions of rice, bigger portions of vegetables and medium portions of meat.

My only sugary treats are good dark chocolates. Thank god I'm not much of a sweet tooth.

After the fall, I was pretty much resting at home. My shoulder is still strained, and my hipbones do not sit well. I do forms of karate drills religiously at home, trying to keep the restlessness at bay.

My fabulous form is again, back to zero. I have not been training for 8 days. But I'm not sweating it. There's always time for improvement.

I have been working on my own place - fixing the kitchen, bedroom and storage area. I find that setting a regular timetable for all your cleaning and maintenance keeps your house tidy and in good form. I divide the tasks into daily, weekly and monthly. I believe in weekly toilet cleaning, vacuuming, complete laundry (bedsheets, towels, etc) and menu planning. I also think that aromatherapy oils work the best, even though scented candles do function in closed small spaces.

Cleaning the whole space works the whole body.

Last night, after a good time with friends who've been around for years, I went to bed with a tinge of something I can't quite place. I want to go running. Two years ago, I would always end my good time with a nice run the next morning. It's always a nice feeling to have, the morning air so crisp, and me going about last night's event. There's always something so romantic about it that I can't never let go of. Last night though, I only massaged my grandma knees, thank God I am healthy, and went back to bed, with my alarm off.

I might never be able to run as free as I did before. But there are other things to be grateful about.

Running: The Best Of

Me and my whole family are all talking about this Malakoff run. This time around, few more of my cousins are joining and also my colleagues (upon my insistence).

Caught up in the excitement, sometimes I wondered if i should just forgo my 'retirement' plan and join them in the run too.

It seems that I'm retiring at the wrong moment - my sister (whom I have given up trying to make her run) has been asking me about running, and which race she should apply to.

For the millionth time after my knee injury, I wished I didn't have degenerative knee bones. Or that it's just some sort of an injury, that could get better in time. I look at other people running everyday and think, "How come they don't get any knee pain?" I regard other runners with some sort of an amazement - how could your knees take it but not mine?

Sometimes I feel like not giving a hoot and running through all the pain. But I want to be able to walk during my pregnancy (something women with bad knees like mine can't do). And I'm pretty sure there is a reason for everything, even if we can't see it yet.

So I am sticking through my promise - no running events anymore - at least, nothing that amounts to more than 3 per year. I would not completely stop running though, I think that is fairly impossible, but I would not run until I have to run. I'm pretty ok with that.

Thank You, feet, for keeping me company for 13 wonderful years. We had great moments.

Yesterday, while cleaning up my place, I found a box of things that belonged to me in high school. As is by pure coincidence, out came my sporting paraphernalia; hockey shin pads, tapes, squash balls, worn out badminton racquets, and most importantly, my running bibs.

1246 - my first ever running race number, when I was 13. It was a cross country, distance maybe 3km, and I think I finished it waaay after the event has finished. By the time I arrived, everybody was gone, and the tents were all cleared off the field. I was dumbfounded. I thought I was in Twilight Zone.

1355 - second race of the same distance, which I ran blindly without stopping trying to chase the top girl in school to no avail. My first ever trophy. I got number 13. Lucky number 13. This was the year when running started to make sense.

42:23 - my best 10km time. I was 15 and was also in field hockey. field hockey worked your endurance and speed like hell. Joining cross country was easy because we ran so much during field hockey. We had many different coaches and everyone was insane.

400m, 800m, 1500m, 4x400m - my favorite events. I HATED competing but not when I know I would win HAha! Out of the 4, 800m was the hardest because I always had a hard time pacing this distance. you burnt out going too fast too soon, but lose out when you started too slow. My winning 1500m time was 5:25. I was 16-17. My boyfriend then was the school's top runner but I had no idea I would be marrying that guy.

suicides and horses - my favorite running drills.

Bullet with Butterfly Wings (Smashing Pumpkins) - my all time favorite running song. the song started out slow but then explodes into magic. Great for tempo run.

Rancid (out come the wolves) - favorite running album. I then ran while holding a freaking discman.

Hyde Park - the best running place oversea.

After an emotional fight - the best time to do your tempo run.

Gentle Pickup - my favorite Runner's World term.

Reebok Premier Road - favorite running shoes. I have 2 of them!

5k - favorite running distance.

Writing this makes me want to run.

I spoke to one of the cyclists whom I cycle with, and he told me that he too used to run. In fact, "I used to run with the Pacesetters, even had me a running girlfriend too," he said. I asked him, "Don't you miss it?"

"You've just go find something else that hooks you the same way."

Running in my head

Did not manage to do anything yesterday night. Got out of work late, and by then too tired to do anything.

This entry might be beneficial just to me, as I am going to write about the best moments I remember from working out. I always do this when I get stuck in a rut I can't seem to shake out of. I think the motivation I get from recycling the high of past workouts helps.

The Big Fun Run run, Sep 26th.
I wasn't really nervous about this race. Firstly, it's a 5k, a distance I'm pretty sure I could cover easily. Secondly, I'm running with my sisters, whihc means that if I was so out of shape I could easily turn this to be a fun family thing and run with them. Thirdly, I did not have any pressure on myself. No goals, no target. Of course, I wanted to run faster - who doesn't? But I'm never going to beat myself up if I didn't.

We were late to arrive; the race started at 11am (can you imagine, so late in the day?) and when we stepped foot on the park we only get to see the last of the runners shuffling away. I ran to the starting point. I was slightly disappointed; secretly I have wanted to start the race proper and run my best. After jogging with my sisters for about 1 minute feeling dejected (not to mention that I lost my Oyster card) they persuaded me to run on my own. I did not need any more push after that.

I ran. Hard. I ran. Fast. I ran. Happy. There were 2 female runners also latecomers - their pace were good, indicating that they run regularly. I followed them. My legs started to warm up. And then without meaning to I passed the girls. So many walkers at this point - the runners have all shot up 5 minutes ahead of me. I picked up pace, did not even know why I was so careless, why I didn't pace properly. All I knew is I just wanted to see how far I could run this hard, this much.

The wind was cold, my fingers numb. My heart started to burn. Somebody yelled out, "Nice form! Keep it up!" and I surged forward, harder. I realized I missed this part of myself, this identity I have left behind, unwillingly at times. The sprinter in me. I could only remember running so strong like this when I was in school. Doing mile-repeats. Vomiting water at the end of it. Happiness by the kilometers. My knees don't allow me to do this anymore. Now sometimes when I look at other female runners my age running strong I felt a twinge, thinking that I could never have that so good now. Oh well.

I slowed down a notch at kilometer 4. Just a notch. 3 weeks of being dormant. The wind was so cold by then, I can't barely feel the sweat trinkling down my back. I didn't think I sweat much. Is it going to be over already? So soon? Maybe this is why I run slow now. I hate having to end a run so fast. I want more time, to summon my old high school track team moniker - Nadia Bullet! Skinny but speedy, always steady. Always steady. My bicycle is named Steady Eddy.

When I arrived at the chute I lifted up my arms in the kind of joy only I know. Nobody took my picture; I had to ask for the goodie bag. But I was a winner already, I felt good.

Between Want and Can't

When I say General Comeback, I really meant all out, like 5 days per week minimum.

Instead, I've only managed to squeeze 1 workout since that glorious welcome home cardio. 2, if you count walking the whole of IKEA yesterday night (mild cardio) and lugging around heavy shelves, and the likes (strength training).

I thought I would freak out with this lack of exercise. I mean, losing one workout on my two workout per day used to drive me crazy. But I guess back then I was really crazy, and didn't know how to alleviate the situation. It's like a bad relationship you just didn't know how to get out of. Thank God now I'm slightly sensible. I DNS 2 events I'd already signed up and paid for... without a huge remorse. Which means I still feel remorse, but not so big.

I would say that it is all work like the rest of the fatties who complain about lack of time. But it's only 60% true. Work does take out a lot from me, but not exactly my time as much as my energy. I would arrive home so mentally exhausted than I want nothing else but to change into my ratty old pants and snuggle on my bed. Only then I realized how FREE I was before at work.

Also other things, like my apartment, and social obligations. Things like that. Heck, I'll even throw in some entertainment and my cat into the picture. They did not get any Q time with me before. I went back to one of my entries and realized that my sister has left this comment which I overlooked:

"hello i'm the long suffering sister/housemate of this bloody woman. Hardly ever see her kurus ass, all the free time she has is devoted to sports (lari la, kayuh basikal la, swimming la) and her boyfriend. We used to at least once a week watch movies, but not anymore. She's always home late from cycling trips - i feel sad :( "

So we watch movies now... and we're happy. That is, after we have our walk/run thing on Thursdays. It is a deal.

I am getting a whole lot of my officemates involved in this running thing. I like their 'n00bie'-ness: calling 5k a Marathon, thinking they're going to faint after 2k, etc. We're probably going to run together on a simple race end of this year... I'm looking at Malakoff 7k. Of course, I want to do the 12k. Legs have been itching to run lately, but I really have to be careful with them - can't use them too often or else they'd quit on me.

Beautiful Rush

Did a very very short stint of cardio today. There is no time for me to fit in most everything, but I take what I can get.

Woke up early, got dressed, and got going. The roads were amazingly clear, with only a smattering of cars here and there, and the sun was just about up. It was the kind of morning you would envision if the town is attacked by zombies. I love the combination of public holidays and lazy Malaysians. Malaysia rules!!!

The rush of trying out a new route. I was smiling.

Too short, I arrived at boyfriend's house. Wasn't even pounding. wasn't even sweaty. Still it was worth it, that physical body movement. being at one again with the roads. Feeling the sun on my skin.

I get a little too poetic and dramatic sometimes, but really, there is an absolute beauty in speed and adrenaline.

Off to London for 10 days. Damnit. I'll miss my sun and humidity.

Raya Run

Layan lari pagi2 dengan ayah.

The sadness is still there. Doesn't really help when a friend of mine just buried her 17 year old nephew who succumbed to cancer as well, yesterday. So many young deaths. I have no idea how a parent feels burying their own child.

But life goes on right?

The night before, I had the urge to do something. A run is the easiest answer. No fuss, no frills. I told dad I wanted to go for a run, and he said, "Why not do it Monday. Too soon." But come this morning he knocked on my door saying he's going to put on his pants and join my run.

I had no idea what I wanted to do when I headed out. Didn't know if it was going to be a long run, or a short speedy one, or a lazy, as-long-as-I'm-moving-my-body kind of run. I had no idea what my legs were up to. But straight away my dad set the pace. I'm a slow runner in a way that my dad's normal pace is MY tempo pace. He runs a 9 minute mile. For me that's fast. Fast for a running distance of 6-10k.

So we set out at that pace. Straight away I realized Dad's fitness is out of the window. Unlike me, he has not been running for nearly 2 months. He was breathing a hard ragged breath only about 5 minutes in. When we reached the only winding part of the route I hesitated about charging on and leaving him behind but I did anyway. It felt good to feel pain. I realized that I need to buck up FAST in order to keep up with my training buddies. It's hard to catch up to their cardio abilities now. I am up for the challenge though.

Eventhough I'm concentrating on another discipline, running will always be the best training tool for me. It provides a solid, strong cardio fitness base that enables me to move to a medium level of any sports I decide to pursue. The only drawback at first was I was a long distance runner, therefor my running mostly consist of steady even running. It massively help in the endurance but did nothing in terms of stamina. Now, I keep my running short, 10k at most (when I feel I want to) but pushed it on the speed and intensity. The harder it hurts the better it is for me.

I do have a half marathon coming up and I'm going to enjoy running it even without a training plan. My goal is to just make it through the 21k without having my mental strength collapsing on me! My mind does not even have the stomach for long runs these days. Sighss.Even 5k is long... god.

On the other hand, enjoyed watching the 1997 Summer Olympic Women Volleyball rerun. Gabby Reece is the most awesome athlete to grace my eyes. I love her determination. I have always wanted her to hook up with my other favorite role model, Lance Armstrong. Now that dude is relentless...

Super HOT

Ran under the hot sun.

Distance: 5.44km
Time: 35:10

The weather was super hot today, as always, the kind of weather I love. I was parched 10 minutes into running. Because I was in the mood, I did something different than the normal run I usually do for this route.

In high school for cross country training we did this routine where we ran 2x any distance of loop. Instead of doing the first loop as a warm up and the second loop harder, we did it in reverse. We called it the Reverse Bullshit. The idea is that after hitting the first round hard, we are training ourselves to continue pushing on when we thought we couldn't. And sure enough, we always did.

For the first loop, I ran faster than normal. The sun glared my eyes at some parts and I felt like an overheated engine. It was nice to cover the same distance in a faster speed, and by the time I started my second loop my legs were dying for a break. I took my own sweet time running this second lap. Didn't want to push it at all since I practically have to wait for one more hour before Iftar.

I ran wearing my favorite running tshirt. I got it in when I was 18 and usually wear it when I go out for a run. It's heavy cotton and sticks to your skin, but you all know I love sweaty soggy cotton than dri-fit fabric anytime. It has an illustration of lady running and it says Lady Cougar Track and Field. So cool! I always feel like a true professional runner when I run wearing this tshirt.

Off to Singapore until the end of the week. Sighs. Thank God I LOVE my work.

3rd Ramadhan Run

A nice, normal run.

Distance: 5.44km
Time: 35 mins

I've been looking forward for my after work run. Haven't felt like this in a loong while. The need to jump out of the car NOW and start running. The urge to feel the sun on your face and the back of your neck. The breathless, pounding heartbeat.

It was hot and sunny when I stepped out. My favorite weather. Humidity was high, I sweated as soon and I started running. This was a great run, great in a sense where I didn't really think about anthing specific, but I thought about a lot of things. My strides were nice and constant, my knees quiet, Alhamdulillah. I saw 2 cats - one orange/white and another a mixture of colors. So cute. And they are obviously fit cats, unlike my own cat at home.

I thank God that running comes so easy to me like a bad habit you can't resist. Since my favorite sport is now 'off-season' I have to do something to maintain my fitness and running, my old flame, is one of the best cardio exercises ever. The best, I think, surpassing even my passion right now.

Ramadhan is a great month already.

Ramadhan Cardio

08/12: Karate 2hrs (great suicides that left me wanting to die... no pun intended)
08/13: Planned to do soemthing... but had to work late.
08/14: Crazy withdrawal had me running a 6k at 4pm. BAD choice. What's wrong with me?

Then I got work work work work until I'm too tired to do anything after work but sleep and eat. I'm hoping today would be different.

Updates:

1) My knees for these past 4 weeks have not been making a sound. I'm more bewildered and perplexed than anything else. What could make it... better? I've been running a lot more than I dared to, doing a fun 5-6ks in between. I've been running fast, running speedy, slow, uphills... except downhills, I only shuffle downhill. Maybe that's why.
a) But I can't run in shoes. Tried it, did not like it and somehow I could 'feel' the pain in my knees... don't know if it's just mental, but the moment I went with my fingers it was ok!
b) I changed my postures a lot, more aware of where my weight land on my feet. I realized that when I fully distribute my weight on the middle of my feet, my running does not hurt and is a tad faster (which leaves me out of breath faster too... damn)
c) I take a LONG time stretching after my run. I stretch anywhere I feel like it even while not running.
d) I warm up to the point of being sweaty before running. I could walk for a full 2k before starting my run if I have to.
e) I've stopped taking supplements and anti inflammatory. but I do increase my milk intake...
f) Yoga + cupping + reflexlogy + massages + ACCUPUNTURE. I think this is the best part of being an 'athlete'. the self sponsored one sucks though.

Playing sports have made me so aware of my body parts. I practically know more muscle/bone/joint names than I did when I was taking university biology! The best thing is when I helped my boyfriend for his thesis and I know what he's talking about, sometimes I even read his books for fun. Damn, why didn't I take sports science?

Awesome Saturday Run

Went to the lake after nearly a year abandoning it. Wanted to see how I would do after putting up a solid base of endurance from a multitude of sports compared to last year, when all I did was just run. True enough, the so called hilly part of that lake is now reduced to just a mere flat with 2 inches of heels, now that I know the true meaning of inclines and hills. Ran 2 loops with shoes on, just to see if my feet missed wearing it. No luck. I felt shitty wearing it and chucked it off, replaced it with my fivefinger I stored conveniently in the car. Just like that, I felt my blood surging. Got competitive and started hunting. There was a guy in orange who was a novice runner but speedy, and I started chasing him down, taking my time, slowly pacing, until we reached the fart of a hill, and I ran my way up so fast, giggling inside like a banshee. And then I told myself, what the heck, since you hardly run anyway, why not make this the hardest tempo run in your life. Make it hard, make it uncomfortable make it the worst run in your life. So I ran harder, ran faster, heart in my mouth, ready to come out in puke if I allowed it. I picked up my legs fast, hard, ran as if I was Flo-jo, feeling strong, feeling like crap, feeling the wind in my ears and the heart burning burning burning...

What a nice goddamn 8k.

The Runner

Last night I went out for a run. A short one. I haven’t been really training when it comes to my running. I prefer to let my knees take more rest than they needed, only running when the urge hits. And last night my lack of running showed.

It’s just one of those days when you feel wistful. For the most part, I am ok with what I have and what I could do. For every shortcomings I have, there are many others who couldn’t even enjoy a simple walk. But there would be days where I feel somewhat frustrated with the situation.

My running partner was fast and seemingly has no limits to her energy. She kept a fast, stiff pace, and the only thing that was more audible than the steady poundings of our feet against the tarmac was my labored breathing. Granted, we did spend most of the run talking; but she was steadily moving forward, and I was struggling to keep abreast and the same time trying to regulate my breathing. It was at that moment I realized what a far cry this was to the Me before – the only struggling I did was during trainings where I really pushed myself, and even then I wanted to pant. The old me was not fast, but at least she was strong.

Sometimes I miss feeling the buzz of wind passing through my ears. I miss knowing that running is THE best thing I have in my life, the one thing I could do and do it right, do it well. That sense of belonging was what helped shaped me in my teenage years, where friends learned the art of smoking and chasing the dragons, wild parties and what have yous, and I was at the track, doing my runs up the bleachers and around the dreaded ‘oval’. Some girls were the Prom Queen, the Socialite, the Class Nerd, the Trainwreck, and I was always in the middle – the Runner, not too glamorous but not a complete social overcast, complete with the rubber elastic around my wrist so I could tie my hair up anywhere, anytime.

Nevertheless I finished the run with the faster-than-I-would-like pace. I’m proud that well, at least I still ‘have it’. I might be gasping like I’m having a heart attack on a flat route, but I finished it, that’s what matters. And the best part was my knees were not complaining. In fact, they have been silent for some time now.

What’s your weekend cardio? I love the weekend. Too many things to do, too little time. Cherish every single second!