One Comment Too Many

Yesterday was a workot session of mixed feelings. I always love getting my heart pumped up, and that's the only good part of the workout yesterday. Well, I know it's a skill/form honing session, but really, do I have to be commented on every single second? Am I that bad, that horrible? Have I been doing it horribly wrongly the past years?

It was really hard to keep me optimism in check yesterday. Worse of all is when too many people tell me contradicting stuff - I'm going too fast, so I slow down then the next guy says, hey, you're not even pushing it, don't be so relaxed! - and I ended up completing the whole thing totally self-concious about how I do it. Isn't the point of working out is to enjoy? I do want to improve but really, give me a break! One thing at a time please, not asking me to simultaneously work on my arms, leg and head while I suffer from a nervous breakdown in the midst of training.

Oh well... it's called a training for a reason, right? Serves me right for 'wanting to get better'. But do I need more than 3 people telling me what to do? And all different comments.

In the shower afterwards I took my time to keep myself in check. Comments are good, and I should welcome all tips as a positive, not a mental downer. They're just trying to help, is all. But really, I don't understand it when other people have 'urges' to give out comments or tips. I never gave out any because I'm certainly no expert in running, etc.

For example, running in mid-sole vs heel strike. Different people runs differently, that is all. I've met runners who've been using heel strikes their whole life and seem to be just fine. Just because I can't use heel striking, and that mid-sole running is much more encouraged, doesn't mean EVERYBODY has to do it. I understand that, why can't some people?

There's this one guy who just gotten serious with running. We were talking about my five fingers when I told him that I'm wearing it to correct my running stance and he turned to another friend of mine who's really, just a social runner and said, "Did you hear that... heel striking is BAD. Igt, front landing ok?" I was just thinking, dude, really, how do YOU know it's bad? I love the fact that you love running and make the effort to read and learn as much about the sport as possible, but really, who's to say that she should DEFINITELY run with a front landing? I certainly don't preach to people about converting to mid-sole running or whatever.

My motto is - if it ain't broken, don't fix it. Easy. Whatever works for you right? We're all running for ourselves here, and unless you keep getting injuries, you should just stick to your style regardless of what people tell you too. Unless you want to be faster, and if by changing forms could help you with it, by all means, go ahead! You need to train following your goals and tweak according to them, whatever they might be (to finish fast, or to just complete the race, etc).

Anyway, I have nothing against receiving feedbacks and comments, in fact, I appreciate them. I guess last night was one comment too many (from various people) which lead me to feel mentally down, and plus, it was that time of the month for me, so you know, bring on the emotional messss. :)

Happy Weekends everybody! My cardio menu seem quite full for it. Yay!

Running On Empty

Today I went for a run.

My verdict: hm... I don't know.

Here's what I do like: the sound of my feet slapping the ground, the luxurious feeling of ultimate stability and strength in both my knees and no pain at all. I also like the sun on my back and on the curve of my shoulders, warming them up like microwave ovens. I like the shadow that ran beside me as well, strong and black and in form, never wavering. 

 I like the fact that I can go anywhere without having to brake. Or do a flip turn.

 What I don't like: how tiring it was. I have lost the art of running, if there was an art to it at all. I think I only ran for 10 minutes, and I'm pretty sure the distance was less than 2km, nothing more, but I just felt tired. I was thinking about how it easy it was to hop on my bike and get a good workout, or jump into the pool and feel physically taxed.

 Returning to running for me is a bit like giving your first love a second chance. Over the period of separation, so many things have changed. You are not the same person you were, and so is the other partner. The bad thing about giving it another go, like in any recycled relationship, is expecting things or each other to remain the same. I thought, well, I didn't know what I thought. Maybe I thought we'd hit it off. That I'd just be striding with ease like the old days. I never expected to stop at minute 10, because I felt a twinge in my knees and I got so nervous that the injury is back.

 Worrying while working out doesn't, excuse the pun, work out.

But I do feel there's hope. Even if I went back, and squeezed in some good 2 hours of yoga. 

FRUST MENONGGENG

To tell you the truth, I am looking forward to Pacesetters 30k next year. Nevermind that I have nonexistent mileage sheet and that I probably haven't had a proper run since ages, if you count out the races.

 But I WANTED to. I think 30k is such an appealing distance. Daunting, and intimidating, sure, but at the same time appealing. 

 And then it just came crashing to me today: I won't be around January 17th. I would be in Los Angeles, freeloading my sister's overseas trip.

 Never had I felt soo... frustrated despite the fact that the alternative plan on that date is not exactly a bad thing, in fact, a great thing to many. My sister is going to L.A on a job thingy and she asked me along to which I said yes (of course) even if I have to cough up the flight ticket.

 I was in the midst of doing my Asar prayer today when it suddenly came to me - eh, yang 30k tu bukan 17 january ker? (nampak sgt tak khusyuk kan, ish ish ish). The trip is from 13-17 January 2010.

 FRUST NYER! 

All the way back from work I went between consoling myself to berating myself. I mean, going to L.A is once in a lifetime thing, I would probably never have the incentive to save money to go to L.A, whereas Pacesetters 30k is an annual event (let's hope so it remains that way). But I have been to L.A before, when I was 16, and it's not like I have enough money to have a shopping spree there pon! I mean, coughing up the running fee is a cheaper option.

 But then maybe it's a sign that I should take some time off running with my bad knees and all. I barely have enough rest after Nepal with Mizuno and Great Eastern 10k and PBIM and the upcoming SM and then Malakoff. I should be sated with all the running on my plate. My knees never had the chance to recover properly. They still hurt a teeny bit when I do my prayer or when I go down a long staircase.

 Yeah, maybe I should take a month off from all the running. Start again in February.

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 eeee, frustnyer!!!!

 30k, in Putrajaya. 

I Miss Running!

The last time I ran, it was Saturday.

I'm nursing a slight fever+flu and basically just feeling lethargic all around so I've decided not to go for a run for a while. But I'm feeling the emotional withdrawal of running. It doesn't help that I read running blogs daily and their updates about how good this run felt, and how awesome the mental challenge was makes me feel like donning a pair of running shoes right now and run! I've felt this time and time again; running is such a curse you're stuck with sometimes. It's such a love hate thing. I mean, I can't go for more than 3 days of not running to start to feel either guilty, missing it badly, or eager to run. And to think before I picked up running seriously I couldn't care less whether I've put in any mileage or not!

Before I decided to take running seirously, I was already on a sports bender. I played squash on mondays, Badminton on thursdays, kickboxing wednesdays and I swim on saturdays. I was in a good shape. But after I picked up running I was obsessed with putting in mileage and getting faster or running longer as soon as possible. It got so bad that I always canceled kickboxing classes with my friend, and completely stopped badminton and squash altogether. Swimming is the only thing I keep because swimming is... sometimes a little bit better than running in my book. Heheheh. Plus it helps to keep my knees safe while providing a good cardio exercise. Oh now I miss swimming too! I could go for a fast 500m without getting winded... I bet I can't do 50m now.

Could somebody please tell me that it's normal to feel like this? I'm feeling a little guilty of not running for 4 days now. What's the longest time any of you didn't run? And does it get any worse to pick it up?