The Joys Of

The joy of having your own personal space:

1) Your own rules. And no one else's.

2) Privacy. To do whatever you want - read in the bathtub (as I sometimes do), brush your teeth in front of the tv (yes... im a mutant).

3) Dancing with absolutely no reservation.

4) Wanting to paint the walls flashing red? No problemo.

Fitness Updates:

I've established more of less a stable, regular routine. It consists of cardio and a bit of stretching and strength. My aerobic capacity is definitely not like it was, but I have little doubt that should I return back to my favorite sports I would not have that hard of a problem staying on.

On days when it is raining, and the gym is closed I run up the stairs of my condo up till the top floor (19th floor) and take the elevator down to ground again. The first time I did it, the guards stopped me, suspicious. But then they note that I was a heavy gym goer and use the pool often and always wheel my bike out past them or jog into/and out past the guard house. They let me go.

Health updates:

Sleep times are stable. I have been getting 6 hours of sleep now. I take power naps of 10 minutes tops... never more. I try to eat healthily (TRY, TRY) but only this morning I walloped two polystyrene sized nasi lemak ayam goreng (breakfast, then lunch) and then half a slice of blueberry cheese cake... and then like about 5 Reese's Pieces. GASP! I blame the whole day meeting with the Engineering team.

Ok, gotta go and do work.

Crash boom bang

This week was one of the most tiring ones. But I wasn't as sedentary as I thought I would be. Workload piled in, making my working hours more intense (instead of going home later I prefer to reach work earlier. Therefore it's 7am-5pm). I thought I'd be crashing on my bed from the exhaustion but my weekly workouts made themselves present:

Tuesday

I mulled and moaned about working out on this day. I loathe night workouts, always have been a morning person, but I like the after effect tuesday workouts give me. It's hard, intense and always satisfying. I wasted so much energy contemplating and deciding whether to go or give in to my laziness that I was pooped by the time I started. Decided to take this easy, a slow day where you just want to get your heart pumping. This was a good workout. I was glad my fitness is where I want it to be... in a way. No more huffing and puffing!

Wednesday

Again, a lazy, as-long-as-you're-moving kind of workout that has become some sort of a routine for me. I like knowing that I began it with a lazy attitude but finished it completely revved up. I changed my routine and added new sets. It's always nice (although disheartening) when you are short of breath and have to fight yourself to complete the loop.

Thursday - Saturday: WORK. 2011 is going to be a busy year for my project and we're shelving up on other people's responsibilities too to hurry up deadlines.

Today, Sunday: What was about to be an easy, moderately challenging long slow cardio was cut VERY short due to a bad accident. I banged my head and shoulder pretty hard; painful red bruises are throbbing as I write this. I cracked my brain bucket too. Forget about my faithful blue steed; he is rendered useless. These are all thanks to a thoughtless motorcyclist.

I am careful to take note about my banged up head. I have headaches and a stiff neck all the way to my elbow. If I'm starting to see stars, I'd get myself to a doctor. Right about now it's still ok. I'm just terribly tired and a bit doozy.

That's one awesome cardio ruined. Till the next one.

Halfhearted cardio

Getting back into the workout scene regularly is quite an effort.

I was caught up with work that I arrived home quite spent. All I did was read books until it's time to turn off the lights.

I did however spend Wednesday in a much resisted but beneficial cardio. I was SO LAZY and kept finding excuses in my head to bail out on the exercise. But one thing I realized is that the trick to continuously exercise is to not think about anything at all and go through the motion. Just change your clothes, grab the equipment, and head to the destination of your sport. Start. Get pumped up.

I worked myself good last Wednesday. But I really should be eating straight between the 30 minutes after the workout. My diet is out of whack.

Saturday was a bad cardio. I slept little the night before, fitfully. i didn't manage to have dinner and the only thing I ate was breakfast. I slept wrongly, woke up with a veryyyy sore and stiff neck. It hurts to do most stuff. But still I dragged myself to meet my friends because damn it if I was to miss out on a routine workout. In the middle of it I got my period. Cramps arrived. So it was a testing effort trying to finish, to keep up, all the while trying to ignore the cramps in my gut and my neck and the fact that I'm totally hungry.

I realized I'm sort of a mess lately. Today I slept in, mostly because I have an early wedding to attend to, and also both my cramps did not let up. I'm aching all over, joints and all. I'm a 90 yr old grandma.

The only good thing about my health lately is that when they did the whole measurement, etc, my body age amounted to 20 yrs old and my visceral body fat is 2%. I think my BMI is 18... but we all know BMI is horribly misjudged.

Keputusan Lari Hari Sabtu

Gagal.

Alasan:period pain

Sebab benar: Malas

Akhirnya makan nasi dagang ss19 dengan emak.

Balik rumah register race event untuk bulan2 depan.

(Sadomasochism)

Macam mana nak race, kalau asyik duduk atas sofa lepas makan, well fed but brain dead.

Dah dua event DNS ni. Macam best pulak register and dapat baju free, pastu gi kerja on that day. hahah yeah right.

Dilemma

Work or sports? Work or sports? You know what I'll choose in a heartbeat, but then again I can't neglect work because it supports my sports financially.

Oh no.

I have skipped 2 of my registered events because of work and its so-called obligations. Mostly due to clashing dates more than lack of training. I can race without much training, but I can't race if I'm not physically present!

At work, I have been dealing back and forth regarding this overseas trip I have to make. I was supposed to go last month, then postponed to first week of October, then Oct 11th, and now Oct 18th!

Desaru tri, Hooha Run, etc.

It's too late to register for the events I 'thought' I would miss for the next 2 weekends. But I would be missing 2 events that I REALLY WANT TO GO. Unless I rush back straight home. But this isn't a Melbourne-KL flight. I don't even bother to calculate the missing hours!

Kenapa kenapa kenapaaaa. Haih.
Drama seribu kali pon won't change a single thing.
That is life to you and ain't it funny.

Only Happy When It Rains

It always rains when I want to run.

Or rather... I always want to run when it rains. HAHA.

I read an article about the differences between outdoor cats and indoor cats. One of the most prominent, the article said, is the lack of interest in chasing strings or shadows for outdoor cats. You put a string - or anything moving - in front of an indoor cat and he'll go berserk trying to grab it between his paws. This can go for hours. but you put the string in front of an outdoor cat and the most he'll give you is only a few minutes' worth of forced enthusiasm.

It's true. My cat, Cik Mek Molek, loses the interest in the string/penyapu lidi/shadows/marbles/ or any moving things you throw at her after just half a minute. She is the quintessential outdoor cat, an an esteemed hunter. There is nothing - short of a dog or anything bigger than her size - that she has not hunted or killed. Nor any tree limbs that she has not climbed and peed on.

If she was a true blue Outdoor Cat, then I am a true blue Outdoor Athlete. I guess what a string is to my cat is what a treadmill is to me. I have been dormant for so long that I thought of hitting the gym tonight and run on the treadmill, or heck, get on the stationary bike and cycle. But I. Could. Not.

Whenever I tried the gym thing, I always ended up running for 2k that feels like a marathon. I hopped on the bicycle and hoped it would give me better luck, but only ended up cycling for 15 minutes before I slipped off the bike from sleeping. I am always mystified: how can I run/cycle for hours outdoors but 15 minutes indoors is such torture?

I thought of my cat giving me a withering stare whenever I force her to play with the white yarn: I know how you feel now.

To my cat, that white, flimsy yarn does not even come close to the feel of a warm, flurry helpless bird trapped between her paws. All the drama and preparation of an outdoor hunt was lost when presented in the form of a string; the time she spent patiently stalking, the sweet tremors before a chase, the slow, slow stealth towards the poor bird victim. It is the same thing I feel in an indoor gym - trapped in a cold room breathing the stench of others and feeling nothing but metal underneath.

All this writing does not change the fact that it still rains outside.

cardio lovers

I've been reading these 3 blogs obsessively for the past months, one of of them is married to another athlete and just gave birth to a baby. Her resentment and jealousy over her husband's availability to work out while she's stuck with a baby at her breast is both endearing and scary. Somehow, the situation makes me think of my boyfriend and I and how similar some of her blog posts are to us. Needless to say, we're not married and I definitely do not have a baby, but still.

Both of us play sports on a daily basis. My boyfriend does sport professionally and competitively and is a certified athlete whereas I only moonlight as one. Our perfect day is to wake up early in the morning, hike or cycle up the Shah Alam hills, eat a huge breakfast, and do another round of cardio in the evening, mostly some kickboxing or swimming. We are almost always in our flip flops and t-shirts, our hair wet from post-workout showers. Both of us have this deep tan from too many times of sun exposure. The last time we went for a typical 'Gen-Y' type of date: movie, mall, meal was eons ago. The last movie we went to was Alien Vs Monsters and it was free. Our workouts consumed us. Once, while running, we had an argument and in the midst of it my boyfriend even stopped to tell me to 'keep my breathing even.'

Between the both of us, I'm the more obsessive one when it comes to sports. I was not discovered to play sports; I discovered it. I have no one pushing me to train at a specific time, to give me a hard time when I miss a workout. The dedication to train and keep to a rigid schedule was mine all mine. Nobody is paying me money to work up a sweat day by day. I got no incentives, yet I still wake up most mornings to fit in at least an hour of something hard. My boyfriend on his off season, would definitely be happy to be a slug. On a couch with the TV remote in his hand.

Right now it's the Ramadhan month. My work now has totally taken over my life that I'm either too drained or too stiff to be starting any cardio. I travel about 2 times a week. The airport has become my good friend and I am collecting boarding passes like they're meal coupons. My boyfriend has eased off on his swimming out of loyalty to me (we do the 2 hour sessions together and he's NOT going to get to do pyramids when I don't!) but he still has his scheduled friendly matches 3 times a week. I'm exhausted most of the time from work and he bounds off from the after effect of a good track workout. It's not fair.

I do have a plan all lined up. I plan to run after work before Iftar just like last year, a simple 5k 2-3 times a week. At night, if my energy permits, I would spend some quality time with my karate since it'll be a good time to sharpen up some flexibility and strength. And I think that will be enough.

I feel like going out for a run RIGHT NOW.

Train

The only train I know now is the LRT.

I have reached my goal. And it's a sweet feeling when I realized it.

My aim was to make sports a lifestyle. The kind that makes you feel sort of empty inside, like something is missing, if you didn't do it. A habit of sorts, something to fill your time, that defines who you are. Something stress free.

I read a lot of blogs to have memorized the quote where it talks about the difference between commitment and mere interest. When you're committed to your goals you train. You set targets. And you achieve them.

I like the sound of it but I'm far from committed. I lack the burning passion to be consistent in my workouts, I abhor the pressure of keeping to the schedule. I want to be at the race venue ready to let it rip; fast, slow, did not finish or crawling to the end.

At PD I got the bouts of nervousness. It attacked me like fingers playing the piano; once in a while, only when I allow myself. Only then I realized that this happens to me all the time - I am always unprepared when it comes to a race.

There has never been a race where I am 100% - or even 70% - prepared. It's either I signed up too late to train, or I got sick, or injured (Kapas Marang!), or I lack discipline to continue training for more than 3 weeks.

I did my half-marathons (PBIM, SCSM) without proper training, the longest LSD was - as always - 10k. I was too busy to train for my karate tournaments. I got injured AND had lung infection 3 weeks before my first tri. I did the dreaded marathon with no base to fall on to (I don't recommend this).

Did I suffer? Yes. But did I finish? Yes. That's my only goal in sports. To finish without compromising my health.

My point is - I don't train. Or rather, I have failed in trying to train. I'm horrible at trying to be a disciplined athlete. I read and enjoy running blogs tremendously, but in all honesty, fall short in trying to emulate the so-call 'n weeks' of training schedule. I read my entries these past few months and wondered what happened to the workout style post of "warm up; 100m, run distance: 3k in 6 min pace" that I did earlier on. After a while the numbers sort of left me.

I still do though, have a simple workout log. I keep it because I like to look at my busy fulfilling life (hahahaha). But from now on, the only train I know of is the LRT.

And that is fine with me.

One Comment Too Many

Yesterday was a workot session of mixed feelings. I always love getting my heart pumped up, and that's the only good part of the workout yesterday. Well, I know it's a skill/form honing session, but really, do I have to be commented on every single second? Am I that bad, that horrible? Have I been doing it horribly wrongly the past years?

It was really hard to keep me optimism in check yesterday. Worse of all is when too many people tell me contradicting stuff - I'm going too fast, so I slow down then the next guy says, hey, you're not even pushing it, don't be so relaxed! - and I ended up completing the whole thing totally self-concious about how I do it. Isn't the point of working out is to enjoy? I do want to improve but really, give me a break! One thing at a time please, not asking me to simultaneously work on my arms, leg and head while I suffer from a nervous breakdown in the midst of training.

Oh well... it's called a training for a reason, right? Serves me right for 'wanting to get better'. But do I need more than 3 people telling me what to do? And all different comments.

In the shower afterwards I took my time to keep myself in check. Comments are good, and I should welcome all tips as a positive, not a mental downer. They're just trying to help, is all. But really, I don't understand it when other people have 'urges' to give out comments or tips. I never gave out any because I'm certainly no expert in running, etc.

For example, running in mid-sole vs heel strike. Different people runs differently, that is all. I've met runners who've been using heel strikes their whole life and seem to be just fine. Just because I can't use heel striking, and that mid-sole running is much more encouraged, doesn't mean EVERYBODY has to do it. I understand that, why can't some people?

There's this one guy who just gotten serious with running. We were talking about my five fingers when I told him that I'm wearing it to correct my running stance and he turned to another friend of mine who's really, just a social runner and said, "Did you hear that... heel striking is BAD. Igt, front landing ok?" I was just thinking, dude, really, how do YOU know it's bad? I love the fact that you love running and make the effort to read and learn as much about the sport as possible, but really, who's to say that she should DEFINITELY run with a front landing? I certainly don't preach to people about converting to mid-sole running or whatever.

My motto is - if it ain't broken, don't fix it. Easy. Whatever works for you right? We're all running for ourselves here, and unless you keep getting injuries, you should just stick to your style regardless of what people tell you too. Unless you want to be faster, and if by changing forms could help you with it, by all means, go ahead! You need to train following your goals and tweak according to them, whatever they might be (to finish fast, or to just complete the race, etc).

Anyway, I have nothing against receiving feedbacks and comments, in fact, I appreciate them. I guess last night was one comment too many (from various people) which lead me to feel mentally down, and plus, it was that time of the month for me, so you know, bring on the emotional messss. :)

Happy Weekends everybody! My cardio menu seem quite full for it. Yay!

Going Downhill

Too many things to write about, but I want to talk about knowing our limitations.

 I have a training journal and when I looked back at past entries I realized I went too hard on running. This was last year before Ramadhan. I was obsessed. I think I ran everyday. During the fasting month I managed to sneak in 17 days of running. Some were done without having any sahur the night before. My knees were already hurting then. 

 I came back from Nepal with a pair of horribly hurt knees. And yet I still ran - I ran a 10k, an 11k, and 2 half-marathons, and finally the Malakoff 12k. And what did I get in the end? Bad timing, and a degenerative disease that I could never repair. Cartilage isn't something that you could produce back. It's like neurons you see. You lose them, you lose them forever. And I have people telling me, "And you're so youngggg."

 Thats right, I have early arthritis, and I'm not even 30. Blame it on my foolish obsession. 

 The same thing goes to my swimming. I swam so hard and so often and so long (hitting 3k on a normal day) that now my left shoulder is rendered useless. 

 If I had listened to my knees last year, if only I'd stopped when my knees started to hurt, I COULD have saved them, or at least extended the symptoms' appearance. If only I had held back on swimming, took my time without adding a lot of mileage every week, I could still be swimming to this day. Moderation should be the key word for both cases, one I didn't take heed on. The most important thing is sensible training. 

 I have been sick for 3 weeks. Viral fever, and then a nasty lung infection. I missed out on a lot of my workouts. Some days, you could see me packing my swimming bag only to be defeated by an aching shoulder at the end of the day, and driving straight bag home. I tried going for a run and if I didn't get reduced to a walk I would be huffing so badly an asthmatic person would gladly loaned me his inhaler. I remember telling someone what my time for a 10k was and I had two answers: before injury, and after. She said, "That is really sad. Aren't you bummed?" I never thought about it that way before, but now that she mentioned it, yeah maybe a little. Only because I was foolish.

 I would have gladly blamed all of this (my downhill fitness) to my fever but truth to be told I wished I had listened to my body when they waved out the white flag. MODERATION. And SENSIBLE training. This isn't something you could call an adversity, or something you need to experience to learn and get better. With body parts, you go down and you'll never quite get up the same way.

 On a brighter note: Bidor half-marathon this weekend. I have always wanted to run this ever since I found out about this run 2 years back. I hope I will get the chance to one day. Who would be doing this? Good Luck to all runners. Well, this weekend would not be so bad for me either. I would be having fun up north with the company of 2 girls and about a hundred more of men in tights! My fitness is in shambles and I am in the lowest state of fit, but life is NOT all about being fit.

 Remember everyone, MODERATION and SENSIBLE TRAINING. Good, repeat after me, your friendly ol arthritic friend.

 

 

The Downside of Trying To Be Actively Healthy

I got home from today's swim session feeling like my head is going to split into two. The first time it happened - it was about 3 weeks ago - was when I came home from a swim, fixed myself breakfast, and 20 minutes later, vomited the contents out with a severe pounding headache. 

 The doctor diagnosed it as a migraine, and well, he found out what my trigger points were. I can't have chocolates, any cocoa based food (milo included), cheese, mandarin oranges, and I forget what else. I was shoveling all of those a few days before on a continuous basis. 

 However, the headache is acting up again. Even as I'm typing this, there's literally a hot vise gripping around my skull and the pain is both pounding and throbbing. And when I googled, I found out that I'm not alone:

 They called it a Swimmer's Migraines, or Headaches, and many people have either felt it or experienced it on a normal basis. The culprits are likely to be tight goggles, tight cap, or dehydration. Also some articles discussed about CO2 buildup which is caused by inefficient breathing during the swim. 

 My own diagnosis is that I am dehydrated. This is my biggest weakness in doing sports - I tend to go a whole workout without water and food and always ended the exercises feeling waaay too exhausted and spent. For instance today I can't remember drinking anything on the way and even while swimming and when I arrived in my parent's house in Nilai I took my time puttering, reading books, playing with my cat before having a glass of water. By then the headache was already saying Hello to me.

 My sister saw me drinking loads of water and asked why. When I explained it to her, she said, "Wow, there sure are a lot of pitfalls in working out. X-rays this, X-rays that, weak knees, migraines, and the works."

 She added, "Not to rain on your parade, but I think I'm healthier than you!"

 Straight away I knew that I am giving out the wrong message about staying healthy. Exercising is the number one choice to start getting healthy, but you have to do it properly. Overtraining, over excessive use of muscles, bad nutrient and diet won't make you any better even if you work out 6 days per week. There's a whole load of injuries and ailments waiting for you out there - swimmer's Ear, Swimmer's Migraines, Runner's Knees, handlebar palsy, etc.

And mother of all: dehydration: lack of water! oh why do I do this to myself?

 Have to train myself to take care of the 'other' part of being healthy. Proper food, proper fueling and proper rest. 

 Arrrgh pening gilaaa

Bike Ride

I still have the leftover of the fever today, so the mood to enjoy my bike ride is a little bit foiled. 

 To be honest, I'm having a hard time finding a decent route for my bicycle. By decent I mean something that is more than 4km, and isn't going downhill all the time that I always ended up braking my heart's content. Everytime I take my bike out for a ride I am intimidated by the passing cars and sometimes speedy motorcyclists. When I am lucky enough to find a flat stretch of road I keep on having to stop since there are many T junctions along the way. A friend of mine who cycles once mentioned that the subang jaya neighborhood is the worst place for a cyclist to train and well, I didn't put much heed or thought into his statement then. Now I know. 

 But I hate to complain so much and decided to make do. Well, if the biggest, most decent route around ss19 is only about 4km or so, be it. I'll probably just do about 8 loops of it. Even if I ended up braking half the time, or cruising. Only today is marred by a slight drizzle and my headache. Normally I would be reluctant to end a workout without feeling sweaty or exhausted, but today I was too discouraged by the route and also tired from the fever.

 That's about it. Hope everybody is feeling good about their workout.