Train

The only train I know now is the LRT.

I have reached my goal. And it's a sweet feeling when I realized it.

My aim was to make sports a lifestyle. The kind that makes you feel sort of empty inside, like something is missing, if you didn't do it. A habit of sorts, something to fill your time, that defines who you are. Something stress free.

I read a lot of blogs to have memorized the quote where it talks about the difference between commitment and mere interest. When you're committed to your goals you train. You set targets. And you achieve them.

I like the sound of it but I'm far from committed. I lack the burning passion to be consistent in my workouts, I abhor the pressure of keeping to the schedule. I want to be at the race venue ready to let it rip; fast, slow, did not finish or crawling to the end.

At PD I got the bouts of nervousness. It attacked me like fingers playing the piano; once in a while, only when I allow myself. Only then I realized that this happens to me all the time - I am always unprepared when it comes to a race.

There has never been a race where I am 100% - or even 70% - prepared. It's either I signed up too late to train, or I got sick, or injured (Kapas Marang!), or I lack discipline to continue training for more than 3 weeks.

I did my half-marathons (PBIM, SCSM) without proper training, the longest LSD was - as always - 10k. I was too busy to train for my karate tournaments. I got injured AND had lung infection 3 weeks before my first tri. I did the dreaded marathon with no base to fall on to (I don't recommend this).

Did I suffer? Yes. But did I finish? Yes. That's my only goal in sports. To finish without compromising my health.

My point is - I don't train. Or rather, I have failed in trying to train. I'm horrible at trying to be a disciplined athlete. I read and enjoy running blogs tremendously, but in all honesty, fall short in trying to emulate the so-call 'n weeks' of training schedule. I read my entries these past few months and wondered what happened to the workout style post of "warm up; 100m, run distance: 3k in 6 min pace" that I did earlier on. After a while the numbers sort of left me.

I still do though, have a simple workout log. I keep it because I like to look at my busy fulfilling life (hahahaha). But from now on, the only train I know of is the LRT.

And that is fine with me.