Today I came across an interesting question: which came first - the addict or the drug? The author states that essentially drugs, if left alone, are just either a normal plant or a chemical mixture. It's the addiction that completes the relationship, therefore addiction is the one who started the dangerous journey. It comes complete with the withdrawal syndroms/symptoms, you crave it in a way you can't describe and it literally takes over your life.
My sports have sort of become an addiction, and I can't really tell if it's the healthy kind or the bad kind. I feel the withdrawal blues if I left it for more than a day, I think about it every other hour, sometimes with great attention, and it consumes my very existence. My life is utterly dependent on it and there have been possibilities where I totally wished I was ignorant to this aspect of life. How totally blissful if I could not care less about a low mileage week, or anything else that surrounds this cult concept. I consider myself to be a level-headed, feet on the ground kind of person but lately my priorities have been horribly warped. But for the most part, 90% of it, I am totally happy with it. I just acknowledge the fact that I need to find a good balance...
Been wearing the same pair of shoes to work. It's purple flats and getting really worn down. I know I should at least get another pair so that I can alternate, but really, spending RM 49.99 for a pair of shoes (that I only wear on the way to work anyway!) seems a little bit too much. Shoes are expensive - this purple flats I bought for RM 19.99.
But I did not balk when registering for races that costs me RM 40-60. Each.
I drive a 15 year-old car named George (husband). He's old, a little bit cranky, and lately, has gotten to be a bit senile. Won't open the car window, lights up only in one eye, radio suddenly doesn't work, etc. He also has cancer on the left side of his body, and I have to tape his left eye up lest the lightbulb comes out. He needs to be aligned, balanced, etc. My replies to dear dad when he pesters me to check up George, "No Money, no Time."
But I could afford gadgets that please my wheeled boyfriend (Thunder), am considering to get me Garmin GPS watch, compression pants, etc, and I have all the time in the world to run run run.
I won't compromise sports for my work, but I would - and did - compromise work for my sports. BAD. But it's the truth. Have you all taken a day of leave just to get in some plentiful of cardio? I have. Many times. Yep. Despised waking up at 530 am for work, but easily 530am for a freaking heart pumping activity... on the weekends. My first thought when boss asked me to go to Norway AND Belgium for work in July - "But... Siemens run!"
Same thing like my car/shoes, etc. Am a proud owner of a one-bedroom unit and despite tons of work needs to be done with it (grille, lighting, fridge, streamyx... eh Unify) I'm thinking of using the money for something else, like a pair of running shoes or something carbon.
a. Registered with dad for SCKLM, decided not to run and wanted to do something else instead in order to get that cardio fix, managed to convince my dad to drive there by HIMSELF, park the car and go back home by himself until my mom said, "You registered together and now you want orang tua ni pergi sendiri???? Just so you can EKSERSAIZ?" Hell hath no fury for a woman whose husband is (so-called) scorned.
b. For the past 2 years, I was a part of a 2 man business team. We did graphic and design for just about anything, covering wedding cards, murals, tshirts, depending on the demographic of our clients (corporate, kids, universities, normal couples, etc) Last year, I remember being TOTALLY WIRED for Urbanscapes. It is the largest art/design festival in Malaysia, and we had a booth selling our canvas arts and printed t-shirts. We stayed up all night silkscreening, stencilling, painting, doing the accounts for the big day. It was a success, and we garnered quite an attention.
This year, Urbanscapes was held on the same weekend as SCKLM. I was totally clueless, only finding out about it when my partner told me he wanted to buy my part of the share because of my 'inabillity to commit.' Sometimes I miss those days of inhaling paint fumes and talking about lines, shapes, pantone colors and JPEG.
c. Friends have totally considered me out of their lives. And the sad thing is that I was too busy working out to even CARE. haha. Today though, I'm making a difference. Bailed out on another fantastic cardio (sighssssss.... what a TOTAL LOSS) to have a farewell dinner of my best friend (yeah right he probably doesn't know I exist anymore) and his wife+kid before they left for Australia.
The only ones who are not complaining are my cat and boyfriend. But that's because both of them are equally independent, self-sufficient, and lead equally busy and fulfilled lives.
So, am I addicted or is this just my lifestyle?