Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Addiction or Lifestyle?

Today I came across an interesting question: which came first - the addict or the drug? The author states that essentially drugs, if left alone, are just either a normal plant or a chemical mixture. It's the addiction that completes the relationship, therefore addiction is the one who started the dangerous journey. It comes complete with the withdrawal syndroms/symptoms, you crave it in a way you can't describe and it literally takes over your life.

My sports have sort of become an addiction, and I can't really tell if it's the healthy kind or the bad kind. I feel the withdrawal blues if I left it for more than a day, I think about it every other hour, sometimes with great attention, and it consumes my very existence. My life is utterly dependent on it and there have been possibilities where I totally wished I was ignorant to this aspect of life. How totally blissful if I could not care less about a low mileage week, or anything else that surrounds this cult concept. I consider myself to be a level-headed, feet on the ground kind of person but lately my priorities have been horribly warped. But for the most part, 90% of it, I am totally happy with it. I just acknowledge the fact that I need to find a good balance...

1) Shoes
Been wearing the same pair of shoes to work. It's purple flats and getting really worn down. I know I should at least get another pair so that I can alternate, but really, spending RM 49.99 for a pair of shoes (that I only wear on the way to work anyway!) seems a little bit too much. Shoes are expensive - this purple flats I bought for RM 19.99.
But I did not balk when registering for races that costs me RM 40-60. Each.

2) Car
I drive a 15 year-old car named George (husband). He's old, a little bit cranky, and lately, has gotten to be a bit senile. Won't open the car window, lights up only in one eye, radio suddenly doesn't work, etc. He also has cancer on the left side of his body, and I have to tape his left eye up lest the lightbulb comes out. He needs to be aligned, balanced, etc. My replies to dear dad when he pesters me to check up George, "No Money, no Time."
But I could afford gadgets that please my wheeled boyfriend (Thunder), am considering to get me Garmin GPS watch, compression pants, etc, and I have all the time in the world to run run run.

3) Work
I won't compromise sports for my work, but I would - and did - compromise work for my sports. BAD. But it's the truth. Have you all taken a day of leave just to get in some plentiful of cardio? I have. Many times. Yep. Despised waking up at 530 am for work, but easily 530am for a freaking heart pumping activity... on the weekends. My first thought when boss asked me to go to Norway AND Belgium for work in July - "But... Siemens run!"

4) Property
Same thing like my car/shoes, etc. Am a proud owner of a one-bedroom unit and despite tons of work needs to be done with it (grille, lighting, fridge, streamyx... eh Unify) I'm thinking of using the money for something else, like a pair of running shoes or something carbon.

5) Life

a. Registered with dad for SCKLM, decided not to run and wanted to do something else instead in order to get that cardio fix, managed to convince my dad to drive there by HIMSELF, park the car and go back home by himself until my mom said, "You registered together and now you want orang tua ni pergi sendiri???? Just so you can EKSERSAIZ?" Hell hath no fury for a woman whose husband is (so-called) scorned.

b. For the past 2 years, I was a part of a 2 man business team. We did graphic and design for just about anything, covering wedding cards, murals, tshirts, depending on the demographic of our clients (corporate, kids, universities, normal couples, etc) Last year, I remember being TOTALLY WIRED for Urbanscapes. It is the largest art/design festival in Malaysia, and we had a booth selling our canvas arts and printed t-shirts. We stayed up all night silkscreening, stencilling, painting, doing the accounts for the big day. It was a success, and we garnered quite an attention.
This year, Urbanscapes was held on the same weekend as SCKLM. I was totally clueless, only finding out about it when my partner told me he wanted to buy my part of the share because of my 'inabillity to commit.' Sometimes I miss those days of inhaling paint fumes and talking about lines, shapes, pantone colors and JPEG.

c. Friends have totally considered me out of their lives. And the sad thing is that I was too busy working out to even CARE. haha. Today though, I'm making a difference. Bailed out on another fantastic cardio (sighssssss.... what a TOTAL LOSS) to have a farewell dinner of my best friend (yeah right he probably doesn't know I exist anymore) and his wife+kid before they left for Australia.

The only ones who are not complaining are my cat and boyfriend. But that's because both of them are equally independent, self-sufficient, and lead equally busy and fulfilled lives.

So, am I addicted or is this just my lifestyle?


  1. Nobody commented yet? Me numero uno?

  2. Woohoo! Ijam kalah lagi...

    Nadia, ok, I read your entry. Hehe... comment dulu baru baca, and then comment lagi...
    I think you're addicted. The only way to go is to train harder, run longer, and be happy about it...huhu!

  3. hahahahha korang ni dah addicted ngan commenting ni!

    im happy but need to tone down sikit.

  4. My working day, i wake up 6.30am-ish.
    On weekend where there is LSD/trail run/long rides, i wake up 5.30am, or sometimes 5am or earlier.
    On SCKLM morning, most of us woke up 2 or 3 am.

    So, tell me if that is addiction or abnormal? Hehehe.

  5. Ok, u need a new pair of shoes. I can u discounts at some places. U don't need a new car, but go service that poor George. Berserabut. We are in the same boat when it comes to work. But u need to channel out the stress with something. Sports is our answer. Better than alcohol, ain't it? But wee neec the paycheck to keep doing our sports kan. So balnce it out.
    Property, at least u bought one. Renovations and all, those can wait.
    About life, it's ur call. All I can say is, appreciate the people u have before they are gone. I wish I still have my dad around. And jaga hati kawan2. To me, close friends are the most important thing in my life, besides money. Go entertain that friend today. Exercise can wait, for a day. Remember that princess....
    All in all, it's just ur lifestyle. Just tweak it a lil' bit. Set ur priorities. To me, u r doing better than some people i know. Cheerssss.....

  6. Nik, that's normal. Getting drunk clubbing at 5am in the morning used to be normal for me. Not anymore.
    We are normal. Very. Those drunkards are not.

  7. KA: George says hello. serviced him already though. I LOVE my vibrams but those damned blistersss.

    going for the dinner tonight but still going to sneak in a half hour of cardio hahahahaha.

  8. Considered yourself as lucky. You have something that we dont have...TIME!!
    Borak with zaki and Ziff - if we want to improve, like making PB, we have to train, if we want to train, we have to find time, if we want time, we have to sacrifice our family..huhu..
    But hey, we can still manage it..
    Yeah...i've been thinking like you a lot...
    dont bagi your kepala berserabut...enjoy life..

    Khairul : woi bila nak buat blog da...dett dah buat dah...

  9. Nadia, item no 4, would your boss consider me to replace you for the trips??? hehe

    I think though you are addicted (just like us to a certain extent)I don't think that such addiction is currently affecting (in a negative way) the ppl around u. Ur boyfren is not complaining rite :). But there will come a day when u will have to make certain adjustment to your priorities. I wish I could do a lot of things when I was young and single :)

  10. sorry, not item no 4 but no. 3 hehehe

  11. Yeah, I have taken a couple of leaves on the friday or the monday of a marathon, esp away marathons. hehehe, so, yeah, sports do come first. I dunno, in my book it's your lifestyle, shaped by your addiction. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it (maybe coz I'm a loner and don't have friends except running friends!).

    Great read!

  12. Totally cool stuff here to work my fatigue brain.
    150 bucks Dockers - crazy la who buy those pants.
    300 buck Brooks Ravenna - damn cheap man, can do PB also!
    But some other things require priority, like fixing the car headlight. Safety comes first ye :)

  13. hey, this is purely a cool addiction.. didnt u know, endorphine is addictive.. once puffed, totally hooked on it =)

  14. nadia, go for carbon! hahaha. If I am a swinging single like you (not married, no kids), I would definately go crazy with my sports. Work like mad on the weekdays, get my paycheck, race overseas, take part in all possible races, buy the best shoes, best gear etc. Wait a minute, I am doing that! I need help! Hahaha, I am trying to tone it down. Hubby and kids are getting impatient with me.

    p.s woohoo last lagi.
    (kalah teruk ni)

  15. Ijam: yeah I guess I do have more time than you guys... lucky me? hehe

    ziff: the trip lasts for 2 weeks! i dont think you want it!

    haza: I take a day off just to squeeze multiple workouts... not on race weekends hehe

    diket: i think the same way.. kasut sukan mahal its ok but work shoes?? do i need them?

    fong: I guess i am addicted... i just need to tone it down!

    kash: hehehehe I just need to know not to cross the limits of people who are important to me, i guess if that is done then i can be as addicted as I want to!

  16. hello i'm the long suffering sister/housemate of this bloody woman. Hardly ever see her kurus ass, all the free time she has is devoted to sports (lari la, kayuh basikal la, swimming la) and her boyfriend. We used to at least once a week watch movies, but not anymore. She's always home late from cycling trips - i feel sad :(