It's true what they say: MIND over matter.
It's funny how something so abstract has so much power over one's own physical self. And I like it when it has the power to change everything in split seconds.
I woke up Saturday in a funk. I didn't feel good, I think my performance is slowly declining instead of progressing forward, I didn't see apoint of me doing this, I think I'm just going to bail out on most of the events I signed up, I have lost the joy of doing these sports in the first place, etc. Those were the thoughts going through my mind as I prepared (halfheartedly) my stuff for my Saturday cardio. Oh well, I told myself, just go through today and then it'll be over.
The first part, I was still sort of struggling. My knees hurt, I was panting - what? I never panted before - maybe I am sick and I just didn't know it. It took me a while to get up to speed to the ones in front of me. I focused instead on having a good time and concentrating on the views of the road... as if I've never been on this route 59493 times before. I considered chucking out the watch. I don't need a digital unit telling me how much I sucked!
But then at the first stop I sort of realized that I am one of the first to arrive. Hey... that's not so bad. I thought I was the last. I felt like the last one in. Then we started again. This time I stuck to A, a girl whose speed is strong enough to give me a good challenging workout in order to keep up. Suddenly I felt good. I am good. Dude, I could do this again and again and not flinch. Automatically I went harder, faster, and I started to hum and whistle. I always hum and whistle when I feel myself slowly rising up from the dark funk that is NEGATIVITY.
I began attacking. All those people in front of me. I gave their backs an imaginary round red target holes. And slowly, but surely, I caught up. Not just catching up, but gaining speed, overtaking, and losing them in my trail. Well, only the normal ones, like me. The fast, inhuman ones are still ahead, creating a burning path in front of me. I managed to follow them for a while but lost steam when they still charged on, a murderous trampling group. But I was glad I got to be close enough not to choke on their dust but to jointly generate it with them. Even if it's just for a while.
At the last junction, when I finally caught up with them, I was panting, and they were normally stretching their legs. Soon, I told myself. One day, I would be BLAZING. Just like they are.
At the end of the ordeal, a friend asked me, "So nadia, how do you feel now?" Earlier he wanted to know if I was game enough to join them for a nightmare and still feeling like I suck worse than an out of shape 90 year old man, I told him, "I'll let you know at the end of this thing how I feel." But 2 hours after, feeling the euphoric high burning all inside me that I yearn for a toilet dash, I told him, "You know what? I WOULD LOVE TO."
Mind over matter. It really does matter.