It's OK

Yes I'm indecisive, but this time around I think I'm pretty sure about it.

I'm pulling out of the SCKLM. I might be there just to accompany my dad in case my cousins aren't running, but I'd prefer if I do my own thing instead of being by the sideline :) (or maybe be Kash's sergeant of arms for her kedai runcit... after all, I worked as a sales assistant during uni for years!)

Sunday I was up and ready to go for a nice long run to just give some juice back into my dormant running legs. I went out for a warm-up run and only in the third km I felt a slight pinch.

I continued my run again with the company of a good running friend. The conversation was good, the weather was blisfully humid (we started at 840 am) and my mind and heart were psyched. I was ready to run longer, albeit slower. Things were looking up, and my body was warm enough to the point where I nearly started to hum. The only problem was my knees were complaining of being overworked and they did not like it one bit.

They made a point to tell me about their unsatisfaction every single pounding step. But the run was getting good, we were just warmed up and in my heart I could go on and on and on with this. This used to be my walk in the park.

But I'm not stupid, and I refuse to be foolish for the second time around. I cannot run anymore, well not at that time. I can't - and won't - let me ego of running yet another marathon or a much talked about race hinder the progress of my recovering knees. I still have other events to run in, and I'm not going to spoil it by forcing my knees into submission, to which they simply won't.

This is the tiring part of running, the part where I almost always go back and forth between throwing the towel, or exclaiming, "I love running!" I'm tired of juggling between want and can't. It's highly demotivating and such a downer to keep on worrying about nagging injuries.

But it's not the end of the world.

I had a great Saturday, and for that I am grateful. It wasn't as good as last last Saturday, to which I would put up as the benchmark for the best workout performance ever. I have come to totally cherish who I am turning to instead of just being resistant to change. There is a different possibility in my athletic capability, in my future athletic journey, and to be honest I am more than fine to accept it.

Let's have a perfect week ladies and gentlemen.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." — Maya Angelou