Planned to do a long run this Sunday. In fact, I've promised myself that after all the hooplas early May that I would focus back on my first and primary sport which is running. Planned to chuck out anything else and have Sunday morning for my legs and me. But like Outkast's song goes, "You can a pretty picnic but you can't predict the weather," things did not go as planned.
Instead I conquered Genting Sempah. This was my second time and it was better. I love the feeling so much it is beyond words. So I'm going to stop here about it.
Came back after shoveling a plate of Nasi Lemak, ayam goreng and telur mata goyang2 feeling the weight of my 'bad' decision. The weather was cold early in the morning and I didn't like it but at 1130 I think it would be great to go out for the run I bailed on. Was getting ready to park at the lake but then that plan also got foiled because I remembered a commitment I made to my sister. Dang!
So the option is to run this evening. I desperately need this in order to reconnect again with running. I have so many excuses - bad knees, painful ankle, that I'm just trying to be as conservative as I could with this running - and I keep on looking for more.
My issue is actually not about Sundown. It's actually something that's been sort of bugging me for a while. I am starting to believe that I do not have the heart to run anymore. I don't know why it happens. All I know is that running has given me crap and medical bills and pills to pop and painful nights and early morning, inability to fold my legs, etc etc that I am ready to throw the towel.
I don't really enjoy running as much now like I did before. Everytime I go for a run, I'm just worrying and waiting for the first twinge of pain. I'm not uninhibited, not free to just let it rip. I have to slow down on downhills which always make me feel doubly tired. I am conscious every single step.
I plan to power walk the whole 21k if I failed to do any LSD. That is, if I am able to book the bus ticket to Singapore.