Sunday, July 11, 2010

Paradox

My mind is a paradox; it is both my biggest motivator, also my limiter.

 Sometimes I take things a little too hard, push myself a little too far. We're all humans. Writing on our blog about wanting to do things the right way, the better way, the good way. But come the real deal - ego, peer pressure and sometimes mindset takes over.

 Exercising has its days. There would be good ones, where the after effect left you feeling buoyant for hours. Then there are the bad ones, which will render you helpless and all devastated. My bad exercising days have many outcomes: sometimes I get a second wind and finish strong, sometimes I shrug it off with a nice long shower and a hot Milo, and sometimes I could be blown to smithereens.  

 Today was a mixture of not so good and very much ok. I would like to think that it's just one of those days, but I've been having that one too many to my liking. Maybe I like to have something to blame on - "shit i am knackered - it's just one of those days." Who knows. It was definitely one of the most mental LSD I've ever had in my life recently. I couldn't slow down, because I was just stubbornly stupid, I didn't want to stop because I just want to get this thing over and done with, and I was fighting with myself and it was a riot. 

 I went through all my favorite quotes and mantras and repeated them back to front. When that didn't work, I tried recalling what Kash's husband Rais told her - "Think fresh." I only managed to think fresh for 1-2km and then failed miserably again, resorting to recycling favorite quotes. I tried visualizing the whole 'second wind' concept. I ended up passing wind from all the gassy drinks I had. Nice. On and on it went until we hit the last few kms of my favorite stretch  - favorite because it means that destination is NEAR. This is when I 'hammered' it. My thighs have been burning ever since I started and they were deranged when I picked up pace. I tell myself it's all the muscles I will have and how my jeans will thank me for it.

 Later this evening, on a different workout, I told myself, take it easy. Forget skills, timing and accuracy - just enjoy it. Forget forget forget. I sped through the warm up, limbering up. Did the drills as fast I could, enjoying the fluidity of my hands. Went through the repeated stances and cherished the burning thighs. I love this I love this I love this. 

 And I did. It was an awesome session, good workout, most of all, I enjoyed myself. Good sparring partner too.

 

4 comments:

  1. Sometimes doing LSD, you just need to shut down from thinking too much and let time fly.

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  2. Agree with Diket. There are times LSD comes in useful to think about a gazillion things. At times i just shut off the thinking and the outcone of it and just well, run.

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  3. Sometimes doing LSD, you just need to shut down from thinking too much and let time fly.

    (I echo Diket's)

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