Somehow I was slow to realize the changes.
I am in Singapore right now, for work. I've been here for a few days, totally wiping out my chances of having my usual cardio. Instead I hang out in the hotel gym and pool, trying to make sense into running in one place facing yourself in the mirror and breathing in cold air. I could never see the romance in that, nor have I ever tried to. But at least I sweat some, and and least I get to go to bed satisfied. I once read a book about a guy who runs everyday, and because of that, he HAS to fit in some running daily. Even in the ungodly hour of 1 a.m in the morning, after a very all out drunken barbeque thrown by a hot new girl in town (the novel was a murder-mystery, which the dedicated runner ran into the corpse of the said girl...whatever). Anyway, like that guy, I have become someone who has to fit in something active. I packed my sports stuff first before anything else (which is the reason WHY I forgot to bring my blazer but not my running pants... figures).
My work has consumed almost 80% of my life. 5 months ago, this kind of statement would have made me balk and gag. I hate people who are married to their careers. To me, work is nothing but one slice from the pie we call life. I would never want to climb the corporate ladder, and be like my ex-boss, who was to busy to pick up her little girl's phonecall in a meeting and then her daughter died one the same day (hit by a car on the way back from school). What could she be thinking on the drive back from the hospital, after identifying her daughter? I told myself that I would never let work get in the way of my family.
But lately, I'm struggling with time management. I'm totally happy with my work. I love it so much that even after tough Sundays doing endurance sports that break you physically and mentally I still drag myself to work and lost track of time (and lunch!) doing the papers. The only thing I'm sacrificing right now are after work workouts. I get so tired that I want nothing more than to be on my bed reading a good book or hang out with my sister and friends. Forget karate on weekdays, or rollerblading Tuesdays and Mondays. I'm too lazy to even cheer on my boyfriend for his football games.
Ramadhan is coming near. I love Ramadhan. It reminds me of the time when I went running after work, and to be honest I PB in almost all the runs I did during the fasting month than any other days. I still plan to run and do sports in ramadhan just like normal, because it's just a tiny thing when you think about it. I might cut down the night workouts though.
I don't call myself a runner now when I address myself to other weekend warriors. My passion has changed to something else equally satisfying and testing, and I am having one fireball of fun with it. But the amazing thing is that running still comes easily to me like an old flame. There will be days where I'll pick up pace and think to myself, "Wow, this feels so awesome. I actually miss this... or it misses ME." I guess running is like my ex-lover. There's always something about your first love, they say.