grueling week

hari ni demam.

the last week, i 'trained' everyday. my thighs are feeling the burn even now thanks to saturday final karate class before ramadhan. thank God I woke up and dragged myself to it. best gila, and this time around I was the first to complete the loop yeah! maybe sebab panjat bukit menggila just that friday.

ramdhan is coming and cant wait to start my workout. run + kayuh bodoh keliling kampung. forget about swimming kang terkentut buang masa je. and i plan to do my workout in the morning since I have to sacrifice (hehe sacrifice kunun) my evening time to cook dinner... when you are not single anymore. dulu kakak masakkan.

im in the best possible mental and physical shape right now. i have enough sleep, i eat well, my workout is light, steady and challenging enough to keep my body moving. i dont have to sacrifice family time and i am physically satisfied. i do though want to sign up for a few run this end of the year but i am not sure whether i should... i am feeling ok just running without a target. oh well, we'll just wait and see.

1/16 of gohtong

today he asked me, "nak panjat bukit?" and he said, "if you can do this, you can do gohtong."

he wanted to know how strong my legs are. if they were strong, i could scoot further on my saddle and pump. if I couldn't, I'd just lean far back and go slow. Of course I opted for the latter. I'm not delusional.

on the first hill - this ain't nothing compared to the second one, he said grinning evilly - i was going as slow as 9km/h. the hill was long, but not torturous, nothing I haven't done before.

the second one nearly gave me a hernia. it was hard, harder when he asked me to scoot forward and pump. i was spent reaching up. the lone runner who was doing hill repeats was checking for her time. i think she's going to syaur all other runners in any upcoming races. the hill was tough.

then I did a round of speed. god im so tired even writing this. it was a good workout, as always, i always enjoyed torturing myself. now going to get ready for workkk.

Updatess

(written today)

Just got back from a tough intense session as usual it's getting harder as the students turnout remained the same. Sensei is not that lenient anymore and my push up still suck. One thing that is good about this is that I am working on my speed so much. We have to run laps doing incredibly tough negative splits - this is in running terms and I bet the sensei doesn't know that; all he knows is asking us to complete the lap in 1 minute, then 50 seconds then 45 seconds and so one. CRAZY!

I did a half-assed brick session yesterday. since I missed riding last week due to rain and schedule, I was told to warm up my legs by cycling around the neighbourhood - even for 2km, using the heaviest gears. So I did, and cycling around neighbourhood is dangerous, well, when you're not wearing a helmet and wearing clipless shoes. there's just too many junctions and cars! but there's this slight incline that really worked me in heavy gears... i found myself cheating a little bit by switching to lower gears hehe. my back hurt! After about 25 minutes of mindless cycling I went for a short run. that was good since I felt strong if you didn't take into account my knees.

Looking forward for tomorrow's workout.

(wrote this on Tuesday)

Today was such a great intense workout! I felt so glad that I dragged myself off the bed at 5am and steeled myself against going back to sleep. So many thoughts went through my mind - I didn't have enough sleep, didn't really have a good full dinner, etc, - anything to bail out of this workout. But I reminded myself that I WILL feel good at the end of the session.

And I was right.

Today's session was meant to be tough. We started with basic drills, then a 5x20 seconds of strength exercises working on each major muscle group: arms, core, and legs. That means 5x20 seconds of arms, 5x20 seconds of core, you get the idea. Then we had to do jumping kicks for 2 laps. And REPEAT to doing karate drills. FOR ONE HOUR.

Karate is just sooooo, well, satisfying.

Last Sunday, I hit the pool. I miss the pool. It doesn't feel like a workout for me, and if it does, I feel more like a sexy mermaid than a drowning whale (although while doing drills I am the latter... never the former). That Sunday, I felt energized. The pool was empty - totally devoid of people. Syok nooooo. I fantasized on doing 2k, but will take at least 1k of swimming to keep me happy. That's my worst case number. If I was REALLY feeling sick, 800m pon jadi laaa.

Seperti biasa, warmup with 5x100m. Time tu la stretch aper yang nak stretch. berangan2 sikit while swimming, not caring. Then the set begins. I can't remember now what I did but I limit myself to 10-15 seconds of rest before I start again. I finished the set with a few drills, semestinya my favorite - the baring malas tepi drill. Didn't feel like it was a drill, seriously. Maybe I was doing it wrong the this whole time.

Everytime I see people running or talk about running, I feel like going running. It is such an easy workout, yet I find myself making excuses not to go. I just get bored easily nowadays with running. When I look at my bike, rasa nak pecah meronta2 tuk ride. Tapi sometimes the logistics of this sport makes me feel lazy. But when there's a will, there's a way. Especially if you are riding with someone so f@#$king good. Camana la dier tahan ngan aku ni.

Ramadhan Plan:

Monday: Rest

Tuesday: Run

Wednesday: Cycle kanak2 riang ria tepi rumah.

Thursday: Yoga

Friday: Cycle/Yoga

Saturday: Buka Puasa gathering!

Sunday: Run/Rest

Have to swim as much as I could for now!

Passion!

Honestly, the best pair of shoes.

It's cheap, cracked and not pretty. But I've been using it forever.

Harris doesn't look too chuffed being the third wheel. Haha.

I remember the first time I bought this dude. I came in with a friend, who would later custom fit and build the rest of the bike. It was on a Tuesday, and nearly 8pm. My friend spent the whole night bringing him to life. Eddy was beautiful, and also expensive. It took me months to pay off his debts, and now he's mine all mine. Everybody loved the bike, just not as much as I do. We made some pretty sweet rides, and he was reliable, and strong, and well, faster than my first. We conquered some awesome hills, and he kept me company during solo moments - the best moments. Some people spent the rest of their lives not knowing who they are, and Eddy helped me reclaimed back my identity. First a runner, and now a cyclist. But I am not fast, neither am I competitive. My 'coach/riding buddy' does not agree; he hates recreational cyclist, always pushing me to get faster, better, stronger. I'll see what happens.

Cycling aside, I've been working out steadily. Been doing karate 3 times a week now, and the first week when I did it I couldn't walk properly for days. All the muscle groups in my legs made themselves known. It was PAINFUL. All the squats; monkey squats, crab squats, sumo squats, whatever squats, they kicked my butt. The training was as tough as yoga. I still hold to this fact: Nothing is as tough as yoga, NOTHING. When done correctly, yoga BURNS.

A week before my wedding, I did my last yoga class for the session. The teacher has turned brutal on me, and the poses harder, more mentally exhausting than ever. I almost cried a few times. Oh God, writing this makes me miss yoga. Soon.

My running has been steady. Nothing much to report there. I will still consider myself a good runner, although the heart is not 100% in there. I complain more when I'm running, couldn't wait for it to finish. Yet I still do the laps religiously. During the bi-weekly running tests, I could still muster some energy to sprint.

Ramadhan month is coming! I love working out during Ramadhan. Makes you sooo much stronger.

Water babies and relapsed knees.

There was a time when writing in here was all I could think about.

A few things happened. Like I got married. I had a knee relapse issue. Work. Life. Nothing major.

Spent a week revisiting one of my favorite release: surfing. I decided that for a post wedding retreat we would be doing something active. No lovey dovey beach poses or boring island snorkeling. A lot of my ideas were vetoed, like, hiking up Mt. Fuji, camping in Nepal, etc.

We settled on being waterbabies.

I was actually a pretty decent wave rider back in my uni days. I would spent hours baking under the sun at the beach, combing the waves for some seriously nice ride. Riding the waves gave me a great release.

Harris was a natural, once he got over the fear of being thrashed in the ocean. The waves were calm on our fist day, low tide, no barrels, easy current, gentle whitecats. His board balancing skills were zero though, and I secretly laughed inside, thanking all the yoga poses I did obediently. Once we got a hang of standing on our boards we captured quite a few nice waves together. Paddling back was torturous. I reminded myself that I have survived swimming in the ocean for roughly 2km so this SHOULD be nothing, but of course, the paddling still hurts.

During the evening we rented bicycles and spent a good 2 hours exploring trails. Both of us did not have the technical knowledge of maneuvering the dirt roads, nevertheless we survived. Our quads were thrashed but we survived.

Been running steadily now. 5.6ks every other days. My weekly mileage now would be a pretty 35k. I ran a solid 15k yesterday. This is considered good since I have not been running for yonks. My feeling towards it though still has not changed. Running to me now does not feel as good as cycling does, and I don't think it ever will. I still get pangs, still feel a twinge when I see runners or running things. But definitely cycling is more therapeutic to my mind. The long long long route with only me and my thoughts.

Running is simply just a routine maintenance. I'm not complaining though.

One thing I love every single time is the confidence I get even while still in the act. I love the fact that I can run long and steady without even breaking my stride. I love how powerful and worthy it makes me feel. No matter what I do in this world, I am simply still a person who just fucking enjoy getting her heart pumped and pumped and pumped.

There's nothing in this world more beautiful than the feeling of lactic acid build up.

Alas, all good things have to come to an end. My knees flamed up again after the run yesterday. The pain is familiar and it is telling me that I have another 6 more months of involuntary hiatus. I have no time to feel angry or frustrated; there is simply no regret in doing what I just did. The running itself is worth it. But I need this rest, I'm saving my knees for better things.

Such as straddling my faithful steed again, roughing up the big bad ass uphills.
We have a date.

run with dad

been running with the old man these days. today was no different. my first thought was, damn this man is getting better! isn't his knees supposed to be killing him? either he's getting fitter or I'm losing fitness. I opt for both. Ever since I stopped cycling for a while,I have been doing nothing. Crickets. But been picking up sports here and there. I can still kick up dirt with my sprint repeats. Great nice 5km with dad, who ran a bit too fast for my liking. Had to con him into stopping... I am not proud of that.

priorities

i guess there's only so many moments you can have before you have to redefine your focus.

People ask me if it was hard to let go. Before answering, I will always recall back the recent post I wrote about loving the cycling and what it does for me. To be honest, it was harder before the decision, not so after. I would look at all my friend's weekend's escapades with neither longing, envy nor regret. Sometimes I would confide in a friend about the immensity of what I am letting go of, and they would understand, knowing that before all of this, it was a huge part in my life. But we are meant to lose the people/things we love, because how else are we going to know how important they were to us?

exercise will always be a part of my life. but in a different way now.

I end this with one of my favorite quotes from Benjamin Button:

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.