I only noticed it so much after taking up the strengthening class. In it, we are asked to do thousand of setups that require us to trust our bodies and self. Especially on the arm balancing part. So many times before a particular inversion pose - headstand, forearm stand, etc - I would literally say NO. Even when the instructor is holding me and guiding me I would whimper - no! - and then after much cajoling I got the guts to lift my legs up.
The same thing applies to my cycling. During one of those treacherous routine of doing hill repeats it would be so easy for me to say NO and stop. I had to bark at myself inside to man up and repeat this drill even if I puked.
I find it hard to have the discipline to challenge myself. And which is why, joining the strengthening and stretching class is the best decision I ever made. Everytime, I have to challenge myself to break my own record. It is myself against myself. I love this, slowly competing against my own worst enemy.
Didn't do much the weekend. Failed to go running while Dad sneakily went cycling (cheater!). Routine ensues again this week, insyaAllah.