Unfit but getting there!

Tuesday:

OUT OF SHAPE.

Those were the words screaming repeatedly in my ears Tuesday night as I did my much-sought-after-but-hardly-indulge cardio workout.

Let me just lay this on the floor: I knew where my fitness is, I knew I'm so far behind, and I knew I have to put in effort just to be where I was before (before what? I have no idea too).

But that night was a shock to my cardiovascular system. 2 minutes into starting, as always, I felt bile at the base of my throat, my chest tightened, and I fought to keep my breathing even. Classic signs of out-of-shape, too much rest, too much hours working, so-called weekend warrior.

I started to entertain the idea of giving up. I have a LOOONG way to go, and the route's not exactly easy anyway. I was left behind, alone, and the only thing that I could think of is a ghost attack. I hate night workouts.

But I hate giving up more. I COULD FINISH THIS, I told myself fiercely. Doggedly.

Thank God a friend came ambling along. He would accompany me, he said, plus, I'm not in the mood lately, burnt out I guess. I don't mind following your pace.

I'm so unfit, I gasped.

Don't worry, he said. You'll get back to it after a few more repeats.

1 hour and 40 minutes later, I finished it. The unforgiving, take no prisoners, no mercy kind of a workout even for seasoned athletes.

You know what I love? The fact that I loved the hardest, most difficult parts of the whole thing. The fact that instead of feeling like I have to slog through it dreadfully, I went at it head on and horns thrusted.

Wednesday:

Sometimes I wonder where I find the motivation behind all these routine. I mean, look at me - I am no paid athlete. I do not have a race coming up soon, and even if I do I end up forgetting it or missing it out. But I still rely on these routines.

Big help for Wednesday was writing down exactly what I want to do with my workout time. Listing out the drills, the time and the RPE I expect to achieve makes it easier for me to just go ahead with the workout instead of worrying in the middle of it what to do next. It's like having a coach except that this coach knows you reallly well.

I also planned to push this workout hard. I want to be tired at the end.

For the first time in a decade, I also timed myself. Haven't been doing that because I didn't see a point of it.

The session went well. I did not cheat one bit, except to change one set because my knees were hurting (paranoia). I took my time to stretch and really stretch the muscles between sets. I made sure my heart was pounding furiously or else I'd give myself one more set just to piss me off even more.

I worked so hard that I had trouble keeping my eyes open during dinner.

And today I ate Nasi Lemak and 2 slices of Pepperoni Pizza.

additional: Dinner is nasi goreng! Damn tasty.