what a predicament

i miss running.

it's been nearly a week - i'd just arrived on malaysian soil late saturday night. While in nepal my parents sold the house my siser and I were living in and all my stuff are currently in my sister's new apartment. I have no idea where most of my workclothes are, let alone my running shoes (and running pants, sports bras, etc). I haven't figured out how to get to work from the new place and vie versa plus at work I found out that I have to move to a new position too. There's a whole lot of packing up and repacking that I have to do.

I read an amazing article about recovering drug addicts who turned to running as a new addiction. The article featured this one man who ran ultra marathons of many themes ever since he started running. He was a meth addict, cocaine junkie, and various other recreational drugs for about 10 years. No doubt he says the drug high is more intense, but the high he gets from running is just as good. Sometimes, when the mood hits, he says, he'd be running around a simple lake for hours and it felt like a cocaine high. He still dreams about coke though, but nothing beats getting high as a kite and still get to meet his kids for dinner. That is the only difference between his former addiction with his current, and it's a really good difference, one that changes everything from bad to good.

My knees hurt when I touch them, tender like a bruise. They hurt even more and especially when I do my prayers, during sujud when I would have to exert pressure on my knees between movements. I can't go on a simple flight of stairs without feeling like there are hot rods stuck through my kneecaps. I thought that by simply giving my knees an extra long break after the trekking (it's been 7 days and counting now) they would feel a lot better and I could start running again. But the prospect of me running looks poor. I'm afraid of injuries, especially since I have about 4 upcoming races to run, the earliest being this 25th october, if I'm not mistaken. I don't know if I should rest some more, or start running slowly to not lose my already flailing fitness.

I really do miss running. A lot of the things in my life seem unharnessed when I don't have a proper running routine. I miss the discplined, ramrod straight schedule of my week when I was running consistently.

Oh well.