Slog, Butt, Race

I had a nice weekend, although I wish certain things could go better. That thought stayed with me the whole drive back, until I am convinced there is nothing I could do about it. There will be bad moments and good moments. And most of the times you gain more with bad episodes. A famous super athlete once wrote -

"But I need to have these days (bad days) - because the 'defeats' expose my weaknesses, and enable me to grow, learn and develop as an athlete."


Not to say that I am an athlete, but you get what I mean. I would label this as an Experience/Lesson learnt and shelf it for my future reference.

That being said - I enjoyed the camaraderie. It's amazing how it buoyed me tremendously when I was running. I thought that I was going to have a bad run, but instead it turned out to be the best part of the race. I didn't care about the timing, I just wanted to stop and chit-chat with the other runners. I gave my Milo to someone else, paced with a good friend of mine Chris, and cheered on everyone whom I passed. Friends cheered on me too, which makes me feel like I'm doing something RIGHT.

I enjoyed it even more when I get to deal with thoughts of giving up. This is the best part of being in a race, I think, eventhough when you're in the midst of fighting yourself it just felt ugly. I kept telling myself that this will only make me stronger, and I will feel so damn proud of myself. I began listing out the things that are way worse than running a 10k under the hot sun after having your body slaughtered for the past 2 hours. So many things:

1) Losing/thinning hair
2) Fabregas out of Arsenal
3) Contador winning NEXT year's TDF
4) Lelaki berlagak
5) The extinction of Milo Ice
6) The death of my beloved cat, Cik Mek Molek

and on and on. In retrospect, running a 10k is way better than all of the above. It's not so bad really, with sexy girls and their asses hanging out, grandmas overtaking me and disappearing from sight, good looking men with skin the color of brown sugar.

The best for me is the company of Kash and her little support crew, Rais and Citra (who is my good friend!). Sometimes you wonder about the kindness of people and where/how it comes about - one of life's mysteries we will never figure out, nor do we want to. If you can have a savings account for good karma, I'm sure Kash and Rais would be millionaires. Thank you for making this event a great, close knit one.

So to summarize:

The best part of the race: the running event
The best part of being in this race: mentally fighting yourself not to give up
The best part of this event: Kash+rais+citra and meeting friends.

And now I am just tired and I want to sleep till the cows come home.

You Can Park Your Ego Next To Mine

You know what I realized in sports? Especially endurance sports. There's no place for your ego in it.

Naturally one assumes that because he/she is younger, they would be fitter. Or if a He is racing with a She, he would surely win.

That's not how it works here.

I have been on both ends. I have been the one who looks at a grandma stretching herself in the park and thought, how can you run wearing khaki pants, and THEN got smoked by her. I remember the first day I started again running in 2009. I trailed behind a grandma and I honestly thought I could/would pass her after a while cause she was, well, slow. But I had underestimated her endurance. She might be slow, but she was relentless. I gave up after 2 loops (only 2km back then!) and she went on. I drove home in complete shame.

Also, there have been instances where I would be passing some guys running and they would do a double take and then surge ahead of me, only to lose steam after a while.

Egos. We all have it. It's the one that tips the competitiveness in all of us, the final motivating 'boost'. But we have to learn how to use it sparingly.

I have just got back from my karate tournament. And would you believe it my rival for the whole 3 day was this little (but beefy) 12 year old girl who does Sudoku while waiting for her turn. The first time we sparred, I was nervous about breaking her back. She nearly broke mine with a swift kick. At the end, I had to bow down to the fact that it's not all about the basic factors - age, gender, etc - but it's all about experience and training. She has been doing it for years. I have recently started again. I might be able to lift her up and render her helpless, but you can't do that in karate, and she was as fast as Speedy Gonzales. At one point after one swift kick and another swift kick where I fell on my ass, I nearly yelled out, "Oh come on! Give me a break!"

It's the same thing in running, swimming, cycling. I have seen a woman smoking guys cycling up an incline, and I have seen grandmas finishing the marathon strong, trailing behind her shuffling men. You can't explain it, the deviations from the norm, you only need to respect it. A cyclist once told me about a time when Patsy Yap the Ironman finisher who is in her 60s burned him riding uphill. He is a strong cyclist and definitely not in his 60's. And yet he was left choking on her dust and smoke.

 One good example I would like to share is the swim session that I joined with Kash and the rest. From a logical point of view it seemed like I had the advantage - I was the youngest, unmarried and saddling no kids (this relates to all the time I have and the lack of commitment) or (so-called) old age. I thought what I lacked in experience might be compensated with youth. Yeah right, youth, my clunky ass. For all the session I was either left trailing behind, passed so many times I could not (or would not) count, and overtaken like I was a water buffalo and they were submarines. I was literally breathing in the bubbles they left in their wake. It is a good thing that I know where to put my ego because if I didn't I would have stopped and considered taking up synchronized swimming. 

  Another one is my cycling buddy, Aini. Once, after a ride where she was taken aback by her unexpected fatigue, she told me sheepishly that she had underestimated the distance of the ride. But I told her that she has trumped me way ahead in terms of strength, no matter how easy this ride was to me compared to her. I am a single 26 year old lady who is pretty active She is a mother who is still nursing, and just came back into the cycling scene. She is still waaay ahead of me, whether she realizes it or not. And I am very awed by her. 

 So this is what it is about sports. True, physical strength takes up the popularity when you discuss about greatness, but most of the time it's all inside. In my short foray into these all three endurance sports, I have met with many fast swimmer/runner/cyclist that doesn't quite fit the requirements of a typical fast/strong Olympian. Yet they still smoke me, and the rest of the young runners, like kacang goreng, and I am very ok with the fact.

 I have no ego in this sport; there is no place for that in myself. I love the idea with no ego there is more room to improve and to get better. And that is how it should be. Just you and your will to get better.

Show me a guy whos afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time. 
-Lou Brock 

Bt 18 - Peres Hill

 Today I very anxiously and gladly joined Kooky Kash for my first ever group bike ride. I was reaally looking forward to it: the most mileage I'd gotten on my bike was a measly 4km and my dreams of being in a triathlon is slowly diminishing. But at the same time I was so nervous - Could I even go up? What if I tripped and fell? How hard really is the hill?

  I went to bed with racing thoughts and slept fitfully. When I woke up this morning it was 4am, and then again at 530am. This time I did not get back to bed, but played the internet and had cereal. I dozed off for a while until 630am. Left at 7am, and predictably got lost even with a detailed map and direction on how to get there.

 When we started the ride I was instantly left behind. Later I realized that my speed was just too damned slow, when I thought that that was a normal speed. One of the guys stayed back with me; and he dished out some good tips and advices - the stem of my bike is too long for me, thus making it hard for me to handle my brakes (which is why my hands always hurt!), he told me about the concept of changing gears and how to gauge your speed. This certain body part of mine was starting to hurt and throb real badly. Throughout the ride it was the only thing that was a negative, everything else was just awesome. 

 When we joined the rest of the group they were already at the top looking like they have a good 15 minutes rest or so. Kash has told me about the next part: a 9-10km ride uphill. She parted with a sound advice: keep spinning. At first I was wondering what that means - some sort of a cycling limbo that I do not know about, but then I figured out the hard way when we went slowly uphill. It is suicide to stop cycling - you just don't feel like starting again. So I didn't stop, and cycled, no matter how awful everything felt. Even my breathing was labored and my thighs felt like they're steam fried. As we're about to reach the top she said, "the last part's a bit steep," and instantly I wished she didn't say it because the ones we went through were already steep, I had no idea how the next one's steep is going to be like!

 Going up, I was already building up the nervousness about going down. I was scared of how fast my bike can get - I have always been scared of speed, especially speed that is controlled by me. And seeing all the other cyclists zipping down like colorful shadows made me nervous. Kash told me to keep holding on to my brakes and brake cautiously. As we sped down she was like, "let go don't brake, enjoy the downhill!"

 So I did. Some parts were scary and I felt like I was going out of control - being built less sturdy has its disadvantages - that I could see my shadow quivering and shaking. But the speed on these curves felt really nice, no cars to worry about, ample of space, and wind in your face. I couldn't really remember what how the rest of the ride paned out except that I both wanted it to be over (body parts were hurting!) and didn't want it to end (I'm whizzing by awesome sceneries with the wind on my face). When I hopped off the bike and started to walk, my legs felt like they're made of rubber. I had to lean against the car for a while. Kash laughed at me, said, "Well, why did you think I am standing still right now?" hahahha.

 I am REALLY glad I joined this ride. It was an amazing first time for me and I love how my thighs burn and my lungs felt like exploding. Haven't felt like that for a while. I loved how mentally challenging it gets. Also, the camaraderie after the whole thing is over. Listening to grown men's jokes has always been a favorite after growing up with crude, aging, but feisty uncles and tok ayahs. I am amazed at how these so-called 'senior' uncles smoked me - and I mean SMOKED - from the beginning until the end. Why, they're splashing about in the sungai when I finally arrived, panting.