42km

In short, a marathon is a distance that demands your attention, commands your respect, and sends you whimpering and babbling to yourself at the end.

It was more than I bargained for.

Running in a race I was so severely unprepared for, physically, mentally, nutrition wise (I was a charity case from Yim and Zaki and Syah throwing me extra powergels, OSR, etc... thanks guys) could only be the scariest thing I've done in my life.

But it was also quite lovely. To be honest, I thought it was quite romantic, in a way I could not describe. Only the realization that you're 2 hours away from daybreak, in the most out of the world pain you could ever imagine - ready to cry to anyone in any second, dizzy, sad, exhausted - could make you think that despite everything sucky right that moment, it was one of the most awesome things in the world.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful."
- Sigmund Freud

It was just you and your thoughts, and you have to bring them home to matter what.

To tell you the truth I wished I could say that I thought about a lot of things while doing the 42km. I've always enjoyed long distance anything because it gives me the company of my thoughts, which I almost always welcome entirely. But when the pain crept in around my feet at kilometer 12, and never let go like a French lover, my thoughts circulated around these 3:

1) Just a little bit, one foot forward, one foot forward, one foot forward.
2) 1km done, another 1km to go yeayy!!!! come on come on come on! (repeated 14 times)
3) Ya Allah sakitnyer. ohmigod. maybe I should stop. WHAT AM I TRYING TO PROVE?

I did not know why I decided to go ahead with the race. I go back and forth between reasons: a part of it is, in the words of Haza, material gains - I WANT that finisher's t-shirt, which leads to the other second part, the ego boosting 'Yo, I done a marathon - you?'. Other parts also being: I just wanted to see if I could finish this, I just wanted to know how far I could go, and also, I really thought that it's going to be a lot of fun at the same time. I remember telling myself, "You already enjoy running, plus you can always walk if you can't run. What's not to enjoy?"

So I finished it. All 42km of it, of which I spent the remaining 16km walking. Just walking. My knees have given out by that time, my feet were long gone. Did I tell you I was doing them in Vibram Five Fingers? Yes. And did I tell you that the longest run I did prior to this was 10km? (I knew I told everyone I did 13km... I lied... because to tell you the truth, I couldn't swallow 10km of 'LSD' either)

To anyone attempting a marathon, let me tell you that it is doable, provided that that cut-off time is more than 6 hours (I finished it in 6 hours 50 minutes :). I have done it in the most Commando style possible, sketchy 10ks in between, mentally surprised (found out about this Friday night). But, if I may:

1) It is totally more rewarding, and satisfying, to complete it with proper and sound training. This would be a totally sweet thing to feel when you cross the finish line, with a good time, and overwhelmed sensors. You worked hard for it, how many weeks before. You will walk on air afterwards, for maybe a few days.

2) Respect the distance. 42km is a mother with a metal whip and a ciggarette dangling at the corner of her smirk. She is relentless, continuous, daunting, and she will never let you forget that fact, even 40km into the whole thing.

3) Remember this quote, all throughout your pain and suffering, and I am sure you'd be alright:

"Mind is everything; muscles mere pieces of rubber. All that I am, I am because of my mind."
-Pavo Nurmi

I would like to give my biggest and heartiest Thanks to Zaki the running librarian for keeping me company and guiding me the whole 25km of the race. I would have given up to a walk at kilometer 12 if it weren't for him. He decided we should incorporate walk breaks into our run since I was horribly in pain. I was the reason for his Personal Worst. But I have no doubt there'll be more PBs in the future for this guy. There is no other kind act that could replace a runner's selflessness in forgoing the race and helping a flailing runner. Karma points for that.

- Shoutouts to KASH and HAZA who were so inspiring that I felt like belting out "Ain't no Mountain high enoughhhhh" when I watched them crossing the line. Rais for the race kit pick-up :), Syah, Yim, Ijam, Ian, Ziff, Diket, Det (betulker semua nama ni?) for the company and the 'motivational' prep before/after the race. Also for Khairul Anuar a.k.a Metalhead for the company after until my bus arrives at 6pm, and Tey who also stays in the same hostel as I did. We were namedropping Haza like it's hot!

Honey, I'm Back

The result is out: I am deemed fit to run again.

 After a weeklong back to back checkup with my doctor (which involved a lot of waiting), a long MRI session in which I was hoping for a good looking McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy analysing my scans, and a series of knee tests, he said that aside from the genetic flaw of my bone structure and the spurs already formed and the bone degeneration at some places, technically, there shouldn't be any reason I should not run. He would have preferred I don't run, but walk instead, and we have agreed to settle on doing moderate distances.

 Marathons are out. The training it takes to get there will make my knees cry, "Uncle!". Forget about trails, even the thought of them makes my knees cringe reflectively like some kind of a Pavlovian response. Not going to unearth the Nepal memories again!

 To be honest, I am in a cross between euphoria and trepidation. I haven't been running for 3 months? I have let go of all running things - schedules, blogs, etc - and even though they seemed hard at first by now it has become natural for me not to think of running. The first month, I would drive past the lake on the way back from work and out of habit would turn my head and look at the runners to see if I could catch a glimpse of familiar figures. Because I would not be joining them as I had many many times before, I would feel a twinge. But now I just drive past, and if I happened to be glancing at the runners, I would think, "Damn, that's tiring!"

 In my quest to compensate the cardio benefits of running in my life, I have stuffed as many other sports that I could into my busy week. I bought a bike. I took swimming seriously (to be honest, sometimes I regretted it. I miss swimming and NOT caring about techniques), I in-line skate like crazy (the. best. rush. ever), I continued with karate (awesome drills!), and incorporate yoga in between (seriously, yoga is definitely not for grandmas only. You do NOT need a gym after giving this a try).

 I have been carrying the 'runner' tag for too long on my back until the last few months when I began to enjoy other activities. I became obsessed with sparring, I practiced speed skating uphills, I map out cycling routes that would make me die halfway, planned out swimming drills, and would go crazy if I missed out on one vinyasa class. I am not a runner anymore - I am a cardio freak!

  So now I am left trying to figure out my weekly schedules. I have crammed them full until Sunday. Everyday is filled with either yoga, skating, swimming, biking and karate. I don't know when I could squeeze in some running time without jeopardizing my family and the wrath from my soon to be neglected boyfriend hehe. I still want to have friends after running races you know. Even my mom is starting to be unhappy with how dark I have become and how unwomanly (since I'm decked out in tshirts and sports bag and flip flops with uncombed hair in between). But that is another story.

 Anyway, my first race for 2010: Energizer Night Race. I registered for a 10km. With my dad. I don't really like hyped up races but I'm not complaining. After all, a race is still a race. I might be starting my run tomorrow... or maybe Tuesday. We'll see, won't we?

 All I know right now is, "Damnit, running is tiring!" 

 I think I'm just going to walk.

 

 

Swim Bike Run? I want.

While going through the Pacesetters events calendar, I saw the Chin Woo Biathlon. To be honest I was really interested but have no idea how the event goes, no idea what to expect or no idea how I would fare with the others. I googled and read race reports.

I felt weird reading them, like some sort of a nervous regret.

I am interested to try to do a triathlon. I have no idea why the thought suddenly appeared but I realized that I've always have some sort of fascination over triathlons. I like the commitment put, the effort and hours and dedication a person needs in order to compete in one. Best of all, I like the fact that most of the time, it's not really a competition about speed, but strength. The strength to finish whatever you started. The strength to overcome barriers and mental blocks.

I'm about to go on a running hiatus soon, where I will not be running until April. 17 weeks of not a single running activity to be exact. As always my mind has started to become restless and I caught myself going to the website beginnertriathlete.com. I already love to swim, especially long slow swimming (not speed) and well, I like to bike but never had the privilege to own one currently. I'm thinking, while waiting for my knees (and most importantly, my plantar fasciitis) to recover I might as well add biking to my swimming - which I plan to do a whole lot of in the coming months.

The only gripe I have about triathlons is that there is not a lot of resource in Malaysia for people who are interested to do this but have no idea how/what. Triathelete virgins. Like me. They have many triathlons clinics overseas or even small workshops for triathletes but I don't know whether they have those in Malaysia. The only thing that came close to it when I googled was the Trikidz thingy, and I believe I have reached waaaaay past the age to be a participant. I always wished I was a kid again so I could benefit from all these programs starting to dot in Malaysian sporting industry.

Here's what I need to have:
1) A bike. I'm going to ask my cousins whether their shoddy bikes are still available so I could borrow and start to put some 'oil in the gears' (both gears, mine and the bike's)
2) Swim!
3) Find out more about this event, which includes...
4) finding out friends or a a gang that I could do all these activities with. I have no idea where I could have a decent bike mileage and I bet if I were to be serious in this thing I really would need a training buddy or buddies.

Anyone here that could shed some light to this matter?

To finish this off, here's a funny, humorous article from a triathlete detailing out his first ever triathlon... with only 32 days of training. Here's another of my favorites.